Dick jokes

My girl walks in the room in nude mode and sat on my dick. I said, "What up, your pussy?" She said, "Your dick."

A girl said, "Suck my dick," and the man went, "I have boobs."

When she says she wrestles, so you pull out your dick and she punches it.

The man walks into a bar, reaches into his pocket, and pulls out a tiny piano and a tiny piano player. The piano player starts playing the piano. The guy next to him asks where he got that. The man says there is a genie out on the corner granting wishes.

So the man sitting next to him jumps up and runs outside. He says to the genie, "I want a million bucks." The genie snaps his fingers, and a million ducks appear in the road. The man comes back inside and says, "Hey, that genie is a little hard of hearing." The man says, "Well, did you really think I'd ask for a 12-inch pianist?"

An alien walks into a bar. There is a guy sitting next to him, and the alien touches his shoulder.

The man says, "Do that one more time and I'll run you over." The alien does it again and gets ran over. They get back in the bar and he touches him again. The man says, "Do that again and I'll chop your dick off." He touches him again. The man pulls the alien's pants down and pulls out his knife. He was astonished at what he found. There was nothing there! He looks up at the alien and looks at his finger and fainted.

I saw a lady in a bikini on the beach, so I walked up to her and said, "LET ME STICK MY DICK UP YOUR BIG ASS!"

America: Saying, "I beg your pardon" in British English is like saying; "What did you say to me you orphaned big forehead shitty ass small dick bitch?"

UK: You Americans are so fucking rude.

America: Oh, I'm SoRrY mIsTeR fAnCy PaNts 👖

Why did the dick suck my ass? They died.

You're an apple. Now suck my dick!

China servers are up on Fortnite, yeah, check by there.

"China getting this dick in your mouth 😂"

What do you call my dick?

A. A monster.

How many dicks can fit inside of a hooker? I don't know, ask your wife.

This dick ain't gon to suck itself.

<😏__ \ 👇 \ _/ 🍆\_

A friend of mine chews gum, lays back to yawn, then chokes on the gum. Then I said, "God, what, you choking on dick?"

Cock cock, who's there? Nobody.

These are some of the greatest names ever: Dixie Normous, Dixie Rekt, Ka Monmi, Ice Wallow Kum, Dick Sinsider, Anita Biggerman.

My dick is like the way home for an orphan, its length is never-ending.

What did the dick say to the asshole?

You need another dick.

My best friend said, "Can you put your dick in me?" I said, "Can I cum in you?"

My man is a pussy cunt that sucks my dick.

Joke's on him, he just asked me for bobs and vegana.