Dick

Dick jokes

Alien

An alien walks into a bar. There is a guy sitting next to him, and the alien touches his shoulder.

The man says, "Do that one more time and I'll run you over." The alien does it again and gets ran over. They get back in the bar and he touches him again. The man says, "Do that again and I'll chop your dick off." He touches him again. The man pulls the alien's pants down and pulls out his knife. He was astonished at what he found. There was nothing there! He looks up at the alien and looks at his finger and fainted.

Bikini

I saw a lady in a bikini on the beach, so I walked up to her and said, "LET ME STICK MY DICK UP YOUR BIG ASS!"

Server

China servers are up on Fortnite, yeah, check by there.

"China getting this dick in your mouth πŸ˜‚"

Name

These are some of the greatest names ever: Dixie Normous, Dixie Rekt, Ka Monmi, Ice Wallow Kum, Dick Sinsider, Anita Biggerman.

Memes

Way

My dick is like the way home for an orphan, its length is never-ending.

Stereotype

America: Saying, "I beg your pardon" in British English is like saying; "What did you say to me you orphaned big forehead shitty ass small dick bitch?"

UK: You Americans are so fucking rude.

America: Oh, I'm SoRrY mIsTeR fAnCy PaNts πŸ‘–

Hooker

How many dicks can fit inside of a hooker? I don't know, ask your wife.

Sex

This dick ain't gon to suck itself.

<😏__ \ πŸ‘‡ \ _/ πŸ†\_

Gum

A friend of mine chews gum, lays back to yawn, then chokes on the gum. Then I said, "God, what, you choking on dick?"

Friend

My best friend said, "Can you put your dick in me?" I said, "Can I cum in you?"

Man

My man is a pussy cunt that sucks my dick.

Joke's on him, he just asked me for bobs and vegana.