Your dick is as flat as your grandma's heart rate.
Dick Jokes
How do you have sex? You take off your clothes and shove your dick in the girl's pussy. If girl suck his dick.
I knew a girl called Melissa, but she was a tranny, and he could suck his own dick.
What did the naked man say to the naked woman?
"Suck my dick."
Little Johnny wanted a lolly, so his dada gave him dick.
Seriously, who wants dicks?
"Dick dick dick, fuck dick nugget shit."
My girl walks in the room in nude mode and sat on my dick. I said, "What up, your pussy?" She said, "Your dick."
If you go to the military and you get sent to a country, how many heads will you blow off?
That number is how many dicks you suck.
A girl said, "Suck my dick," and the man went, "I have boobs."
When she says she wrestles, so you pull out your dick and she punches it.
The man walks into a bar, reaches into his pocket, and pulls out a tiny piano and a tiny piano player. The piano player starts playing the piano. The guy next to him asks where he got that. The man says there is a genie out on the corner granting wishes.
So the man sitting next to him jumps up and runs outside. He says to the genie, "I want a million bucks." The genie snaps his fingers, and a million ducks appear in the road. The man comes back inside and says, "Hey, that genie is a little hard of hearing." The man says, "Well, did you really think I'd ask for a 12-inch pianist?"
An alien walks into a bar. There is a guy sitting next to him, and the alien touches his shoulder.
The man says, "Do that one more time and I'll run you over." The alien does it again and gets ran over. They get back in the bar and he touches him again. The man says, "Do that again and I'll chop your dick off." He touches him again. The man pulls the alien's pants down and pulls out his knife. He was astonished at what he found. There was nothing there! He looks up at the alien and looks at his finger and fainted.
I saw a lady in a bikini on the beach, so I walked up to her and said, "LET ME STICK MY DICK UP YOUR BIG ASS!"
Why did the dick suck my ass? They died.
This dick ain't gon to suck itself.
<😏__ \ 👇 \ _/ 🍆\_
How many dicks can fit inside of a hooker? I don't know, ask your wife.
What do you call my dick?
A. A monster.
Only Dick Rapeboat got is his rhyming dictionary.
America: Saying, "I beg your pardon" in British English is like saying; "What did you say to me you orphaned big forehead shitty ass small dick bitch?"
UK: You Americans are so fucking rude.
America: Oh, I'm SoRrY mIsTeR fAnCy PaNts 👖
