A is for Amy who fell down the stairs. B is for Basil assaulted by bears. C is for Clara who wasted away. D is for Desmond thrown out of a sleigh. E is for Ernest who choked on a peach. F is for Fanny sucked dry by a leech. G is for George smothered under a rug. H is for Hector done in by a thug. I is for Ida who drowned in a lake. J is for James who took lye by mistake. K is for Kate who was struck with an axe. L is for Leo who swallowed some tacks. M is for Maud who was swept out to sea. N is for Neville who died of ennui. O is for Olive run through with an awl. P is for Prue trampled flat in a brawl. Q is for Quentin who sank in a mire. R is for Rhoda consumed by a fire. S is for Susan who perished of fits. T is for Titus who flew into bits. U is for Una who slipped down a drain. V is for Victor squashed under a train. W is for Winnie embedded in ice. X is for Xerxes devoured by mice. Y is for Yorick whose head was knocked in. Z is for Zillah who drank too much gin
A young boy is stood on the top of a cliff crying. A priest approaches and says, 'why are you crying my son?' 'my parents just crashed the car off the cliff and died,' 'it's just not your day today is it' Said the priest, unbuttoning his flies.
What was found under MJ's pillow after he died?
Billy's jeans.
I actually think paul walker was a good man, he did not deserve to be burned alive
He had a change of race tho when he died
What's the difference between a black & a white fairy tail? White begins, "Once upon a time..." Black begins, " Y'all mutherfuckers aint gonna believe dis shit"
Michael Jackson died of shock when he found out boys 2 men wasn't a delivery service
what do you call it when a person dies in panera bread
panera dead
What song did the Titanic victims listen to as they died?
Ice, Ice Baby!!
A guy goes onto a rooftop bar, and is sitting next to a guy who says he’s drinking a magical drink. He asks “What’s so magical about it?” the guy drives a car and flies it around the rooftop. the other tries, but falls of and dies.
The bartender shakes his head, and says.
"Y’know, you’re a real jerk when you’re drunk superman.
What's the difference between Issac Newton and the baby I just stabbed to death? Issac Newton dies a virgin.
I got jealous when my phone dies.
Ex: baby i miss u me: sorry i cant talk im at a funeral Ex: who died?! me: my feelings 4 u bitch
You've probably heard this one before but screw it
What's the difference between jesus christ and the kid I just killed Jesus christ probably died a virign
I told a diabetic boy to have sweet dreams, and he died the next morning
What was the last thought Jesus had before he died?
"Man, I could really use a crowbar right about now."
I asked an emo girl if she gets jealous when her phone dies☠️
What is the difference between Betty White and Paul Walker?
Betty didn’t reach 100 before she died
2 Scientists walk into a bar, the first one asks for a glass of H2O, the second one asks for a glass of H2O too, the second one dies, why?
What happened after technoblade died?
Everyone got raw pork chop.
The Wine Taster At An Old Vineyard Died. A Homeless Guy, Looking Ragged And Dirty, Came To Apply. He Persuaded The Manager To Give Him A Try. The guy was given a glass of wine. He swirled, smelled, sipped and spit. “It's a red wine, Merlot, three years old, grown on the South Slope and matured in oak barrels." He said. "Impressive," said the manager.
The man is given another. "Still a red wine, Cabernet, eight years old, from the Northeast slope, stored in a steel vats.”
The manager was amazed. He winked at his secretary. The secretary understood and brought out a glass of urine. The drunkard tasted it and said. "It's a blond, 27 years old, three months pregnant, and if I don't get this job, I'll tell who the father is!"
