Di jokes

What is the difference between Betty White and Paul Walker?

Betty didn’t reach 100 before she died.

I asked an emo girl if she gets jealous when her phone dies.

Two scientists walk into a bar. The first one asks for a glass of H2O. The second one asks for a glass of H2O, too. The second one dies. Why?

What happened after Technoblade died?

Everyone got raw pork chop.

What did they do with Michael Jackson when he died?

They melted him down and turned him into Lego, so kids could play with him for once.

What did Stephen Hawking say when he died?

I'm logging out.

You've probably heard this one before, but screw it.

What's the difference between Jesus Christ and the kid I just killed?

Jesus Christ probably died a virgin.

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Di.

Di who?

See, easily forgotten.

My fish died, and I didn't do anything. I just took my fish for a walk.

My wife went to Niagara Falls and fell. She broke every bone in her body.

One year later, she recovered. She slipped on an orange peel and died.

My grandma always said, "Slow and steady wins the race."

She died in a fire.

I bet emos get jealous when their phone dies.

My grief counselor died just the other day.

He was so good though, I didn't care.

My dad died in 9/11.

He was the best pilot I ever knew.

What did Michael Jackson say before he died, as far as his childhood? "This is it."

My girlfriend died in Tokyo during a tsunami. I was sad, but my friend told me, "Don't worry, there are plenty more in the ocean."

Mom tells her son to go to the other kid, to walk to the kid just standing still, to clap so the kid can hear and move out of the way of the car.

But her son was blind, the other kid had no legs so he couldn't walk, and the kid has no arms so he couldn't clap, and the kid died because he couldn't hear; he was deaf.

My dad died in 9/11. He was a great pilot.

I just heard that the inventor of the autocorrect died the other day.

May he rest in pizza.

My cousin asked me, "What do you think was going through Hitler's mind right before he died?"

I told him, "Probably a bullet."