Destruction jokes
How do you fit a baby into a shoebox?
A blender.
How do you get them out?
Tortilla chips.
A wife is like a grenade. Pull the ring and the house is gone.
Why are the Twin Towers and after girls kill all boys similar?
There used to be two but now there's one...
What do you call a wild cow in a shop with old things?
A bull in a china shop.
What did you call a school that got blown up?
What gets louder as it gets smaller? A baby in a trash compactor.
The world exploded, so now I need to visit Uranus.
How do you fit a baby in a glass?
A blender.
How do you get it out?
Explosives!
I crashed into those motherfuckers! 😂😂😂
So I was doing a project in my class and my teacher asked me to give an example of allusion, which is referencing something else with a word.
So I answered, “Jane 9/11ed her little sister's Jenga kit!”
The principal's office smells nice.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends how hard you throw them.
Where do suicide bombers go?... Everywhere.
Q: Where did Lucy go during the bombing?
A: Everywhere!
Better call NASA and tell them there are only going to be 7 planets after I destroy URANUS.
Remember kids, when you're angry, burn down an orphanage. Then they'll really be living the hard knock life.
Where did Johnny go during the bombing?
Everywhere.
The twin towers are like water bottles.
It's all right if you knock them down as long as you pick up the mess.
I wasn’t understanding what I had to do for homework, so my teacher said, “Let me break it down for you like the Twin Towers.”
Where did Sally go when the explosion happened?
Everywhere!
What did the 1.8 nanosecond old baby get for his birthday?
Nailed to a puppy falling on a buzz saw being crushed in a hydraulic press while being set on fire.