Destruction jokes
What did the 1.8 nanosecond old baby get for his birthday?
Nailed to a puppy falling on a buzz saw being crushed in a hydraulic press while being set on fire.
Why were the Twin Towers sad?
They ordered Dominos and got Jets.
Where did Janet go during the bombing? Everywhere.
Where did Sally go during the bombing? Everywhere.
Two planes crashed into two separate towers.
Now two towers crash into two separate planes.
Once my friend's bakery burned down... His business is toast.
If life was like Pacific Rim, I'd say your mom's pussy was a category 5.
Where did Susie go after the bomb exploded?
Everywhere.
What's the difference between an air blower and Little Boy?
When the air blower blew, it did not wipe out Hiroshima.
Who reads the fastest?
The pilot of the plane who hit one of the twin towers. He took out 83 stories in one go.
"Why do people call Americans excessive?"
"It was probably because of WWII."
"Oh, you mean the war where America responded to the destruction of several ships and a harbor and the deaths of a little over a thousand by completely flattening two cities and killing hundreds of thousands of people?"
What's black and red and goes 90 miles an hour? A baby in a blender!
Friends are like trees, they fall over if you hit them with an ax.
What happens when a cow jumps over a wire fence?
Udder destruction.
Your mama is so fat that she doesn't get crushed by cars, she crushes cars and babies in strollers on the sidewalk when she falls and doesn't see any remains, so there is no evidence.
A hired gun gets on a private plane to his next contract. Halfway through the trip, he notices the plane rapidly losing altitude. So he opens that back of the plane and starts tossing out everything he doesn't need: grenades, guns, ammo—unless it was bolted down, it went out. He stopped throwing things out when the plane started to regain altitude.
When the plane lands, he sees some kids giggling on the side of the road. "What's so funny?" he asks.
"Daddy farted and the house blew up," said a singed little boy.
What do you call a burning church?
Holy smokes.
Where did Amy go after the explosion?
Everywhere.
Why were the Twin Towers knocked over? Chuck Norris was leaning on one of them.
Hippity hoppity, Hiroshima, Nagasaki.