Depression jokes
Hey everyone, I'm back because I'm sinking back towards depression because my sister is really being a bitch, and my parents always side with her, and the stress over online school is just getting overwhelming, and I'm seriously considering hanging myself to end it all because the pain is just... terrible, and I feel like I'm not worth life.
Friend: Knock knock.
Me: Who's there?
Friend: Your life.
Me: Ahhh, I wish!
*jumps off building*
I tried to get my blood sucked by a vampire, but he said I was too empty inside.
One time there was a depressed man standing in the middle of a train track. A girl said, "Excuse me, can you move, please? I'm trying-" Then the man stopped her sentence and said, "How is your t-shirt so clean?" Then she said back, "Easy, hung it up."
My sister: See you at home in about an hour.
Me: Okay.
My sister: Sister, where are you? *She looks out the window.*
Me: Sis, I'm here, can't you see me?
Sister: OMG, she's dead!
Me: Yeah, I know, but can't you see me?
I have it.
Tell me orphan jokes are a really bad joke. People are really orphans, and there is a lot of 'em, and they are all depressed. Who would make fun of depressed people? Well, those dumbass evil people!!
Instead of Edward Scissorhands, I’m Edwardscissor wrists.
bully: "Your life's a joke."
me: "My life's not a joke, jokes have meaning."
How do you get your grass to cut itself?
Make it depressed.
A robber held up a depressed kid at gun point.
The depressed kid took the gun, and said, "I'll do it myself."
When the school shooter walks by the emo kid and doesn’t feel his gun anymore.
(Me) Hey bro, tell me a joke!
(My friend) Your mom. *Starts Laughing*
(Me) *Fakes laughs* *then points a gun at him*
At this moment, he knew he fucked up.
What's the benefit of taking a depressed kid to the store?
Scan the wrist and you might get a discount.
"-JuicyFruitSnacks- A whole lot of pepper and a whole lot of salt. If I blame it on my friends, it won't be my fault."
-Mully- This is my mom left!!
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Die.
Die who?
Me, I want to die.
What's a benefit of being an orphan? The chips always come in a family size :)
What do orphans call a family photo? A selfie.
Hi, if you are suffering with depression and want to talk about it, please do so in the comments, and just know you are NOT alone.
What do you call a train with bubble gum?
A chew chew train.
Oh man, I'm depressed.
If you're depressed and you're crying, like this joke.