Depression jokes
Me and my friend's life story on a daily basis.
Bleach solves so many problems: stains, dirty dishes, messes, and overpopulation.
There was always that one specific person you thought ruined your life, but it turns out your life has always been ruined by you being in it.
A girl and her brother are walking in their garden. POV: Brother. Sister: "Why are you cutting those flowers?"
Brother: "Because they're beautiful!"
Sister: "I thought you said you cut yourself because you aren't."
Brother:......
You can't be a loser if you have nothing to lose.
Mom: Wake up!
Me: No, I'm too disappointed and I have a headache...
Mom: Why are you disappointed?
Me: I took 12 random pills and I still woke up...
I never feel offended if my friends don't wish me a happy birthday.
Because that's what I want.
Are you a grave, 'cause I want you on me?
Mom: "I gave you life and you should be able to wash dishes."
Me: "Why did you?"
Mom: "I was very drunk..."
Explains a lot...
Me: Hey, Mom? Why do we celebrate birthdays?
Mom: Because that's the day a new life was born, and people are born every day so every day is a special day.
My thoughts: And my friend wonders why I have depression...
*Watches sad movie with family*
Everyone else: *Crying*
Sister: How aren't you crying?
Me: I have no tears left to cry...
Can't wait to meet you!
So join the Depression family!
We open real soon!
Try best to hold onto sanity!
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Insomnia.
You'll fit right in along with Depression and anxiety, you can help keep me awake at night because Depression is struggling with that... Well now I can't cry myself to sleep anymore...
Are you suicide, 'cause you're always on my mind?
Next time at Walmart, I'm going to scan my wrist. They are basically barcodes.
I wish I could say that my life is a joke, but I can't because jokes have a meaning.
Who needs April Fools?
When your whole life is a joke?
Everyone has cracks in them, mine's just in my heart and not my ass.
Dark humor is like a home; not everyone gets it.
If I went to Walmart, I would be able to scan my own wrists because they're barcodes too.