Depression jokes
I love trash bags because they remind me of my heart... black.
Kid sees their grandma taking pills and asks...
"Grandma, why do you need to take all those pills?"
"Well, Grandma needs to take the green medicine for her headaches, but the green pills give her diarrhea. So grandma needs to take the yellow pills for diarrhea, but those pills always make grandma very depressed. Because of her depression, grandma needs to take the black pills, but those always give her high blood pressure. To cure the high blood pressure, grandma has to take the red pills, but those make her always very horny. That's why grandpa has to take the blue pills."
Your hairline's so far back that five hour energy became a five day depression.
Bob: What is the percent of people who are depressed?
Me: If you're only counting me, 100%.
I asked my friend if they will show me something retarded. He said, "Go look in a mirror." I said, "Thank you."
At least someone who is gay/Carter has someone.
What do you call a flat-chested depressed person?
A cutting board.
when you see a depressed kid, you walk up and say "wassup my lil barcode"
Your life can't be a joke; a joke has meaning.
It's always fun to take anti-depressants, you either choose to take one, or the whole bottle.
What's a depressed person's favorite drink?
Depresso espresso.
Nah, just kidding, it's bleach.
What is the similarity between depressed people and hoodies?
The color black.
Can emos eat a happy meal, or is it a depressed meal?
I was crying when Sasha died in AOT, I also got jealous.
What's the most emo name?
Carter.
I asked my mom what her biggest regret was for a project at school, and she said, "Oh, go look in the bathroom above the sink..." There was a mirror.
My parents used to make me and my siblings apologize to the ground when we stomped.
If I had done "it," I would have gotten SO many apologies.
How many emissions does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
None, they just sit in the dark and cry.
I’m like an escalator because I’m always letting people down.
I was having issues in my personal and professional life. I hated everyone. I was on the brink of a mental breakdown and depression. I decided to see a therapist about it. The therapist suggested that I should write letters to the people I hate and then burn them. I must admit I feel much better...
But now I don't know what to do with the letters.