Depression jokes

Bob: What is the percent of people who are depressed?

Me: If you're only counting me, 100%.

I asked my friend if they will show me something retarded. He said, "Go look in a mirror." I said, "Thank you."

At least someone who is gay/Carter has someone.

What do you call a flat-chested depressed person?

A cutting board.

when you see a depressed kid, you walk up and say "wassup my lil barcode"

Your life can't be a joke; a joke has meaning.

It's always fun to take anti-depressants, you either choose to take one, or the whole bottle.

What's a depressed person's favorite drink?

Depresso espresso.

Nah, just kidding, it's bleach.

What is the similarity between depressed people and hoodies?

The color black.

Can emos eat a happy meal, or is it a depressed meal?

I was crying when Sasha died in AOT, I also got jealous.

What's the most emo name?

Carter.

I asked my mom what her biggest regret was for a project at school, and she said, "Oh, go look in the bathroom above the sink..." There was a mirror.

My parents used to make me and my siblings apologize to the ground when we stomped.

If I had done "it," I would have gotten SO many apologies.

How many emissions does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, they just sit in the dark and cry.

I’m like an escalator because I’m always letting people down.

I was having issues in my personal and professional life. I hated everyone. I was on the brink of a mental breakdown and depression. I decided to see a therapist about it. The therapist suggested that I should write letters to the people I hate and then burn them. I must admit I feel much better...

But now I don't know what to do with the letters.

What is an emo kid's favorite Tool? A rope.

Imagine you're playing GTA and you finally found out how to take out a gun: Option 1: shoot someone Option 2: suicide

Me: Aren't they the same thing?

Which one fell first?

The depressed kid or the feather? Look at 1st comment to see answer.