Depression jokes

Friend #1: "What's your favourite thing about trees?"

Friend #2: "Apples"

Me: "I can hang myself in them."

I tried to name my grass "emo" so it will cut itself.

People say that they can read people's faces; then how come nobody sees me breaking inside?

I'm sick of crying; tired of trying; yes, I'm still smiling; inside I'm dying.

Did you hear about the exciting new drug they developed for lesbians with depression? They call it: TRICOXAGIN.

What do you call the whole population turning into emos?

The Great Depression.

I tried to high-five a tree. It left me hanging.

What's life if you don't have one...

I cummed on the alley.

What's the difference between a depressed person and a pizza? Pizza won't cut itself.

If you ever become depressed, try drinking a gallon of water before going to sleep... That’ll give you a reason to get up in the morning.

What’s the similarity between a broken pencil and my life? They’re both pointless.

If you ever become depressed, try drinking a gallon of water before going to sleep... That'll give you a reason to get up in the morning.

How long does it take for a depressed person to change a light bulb?

5 days. & I’m pretty proud of myself.

What's the difference between a depressed person and a pizza?

Pizza won't cut itself.

Why make a joke when I wake up and look at myself?

Why am I still alive?

Pills give me stomachaches, blood makes me faint, height frightens me...

What do you call depressed Sesame Street?

Emo's World.

Irritable Bowel Syndrome saved me from depression...

It’s hard to feel empty when you’re so full of shiii fuck ur mom.

I respect cancer more than I respect depression.

At least cancer has the balls to kill you himself.