Degree jokes
So what is the difference between a real doctor and a doctor of philosophy?
One cures the sick and the other makes them sick!
How does a well-educated graduate approach a delicate situation?
I don't know, how does a well-graduated education approach a what?
With a degree!
Why was Boiling Water hired by NASA (The National Aeronautics and Space Administration) to oversee their Space division? Because it has at least one hundred degrees.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a bucket of water.
WHERE DO THEY REALLY GO BECAUSE WATER CAN NOT BE AT THE TOP OF A HILL!?. I honestly think that only people with a physics degree can make nursery rhythms.
My undergrad was killer. It was murder in the first degree.
Why did the glacier send the iceberg to college?
Because, in order for ice to exist, it must retain a temperature of less than... ZERO DEGREES at the atomic level!
If I had a loonie for every degree I have, I wouldn't have a loonie.
If you ever get cold, just go to a corner because they're usually 90 degrees.
Why did the rapper go to school?
To get his degree in FLOW-NOMICS.
Why are mountains so smart?
'Cause they have a degree.
Mom: Anna, let your younger brother have the sled one half of the time, and you the other half. That way it will all be fair, and I don't have to put up with this crying. I've already got seven others to take care of.
Anna: I do, Mom. I have Fred (younger brother) go up, and I go down!
Mom: Good. Now how 'bout the rest of you go play outside? It's beautiful out there! It's the warmest it's been all year, 45 degrees below 0!
Kids: Wow! I never thought it would warm up! I love Alaska!
If your house is cold, just stand in the corner. It's always 90 degrees there.
If you measured your hairline with a protractor, it would show 90 degrees.
Q: Why should you stand in the corner if you get cold? A: It’s always 90 degrees.
Why did the slave go to college?
To get his master's degree.
Do you want to know why I hired a protractor to tutor my nephew in IIROC? Because he has degrees. 180 of them. So he's smar[t].
Where did Milky Way get its degree?
At the university.
Why was the slave so happy? Because he got his master's degree.
How many degreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees does Billy Corgan have?
1979.
In geometry class, the teacher went up to the board and drew a 23-degree angle.
She then drew a 67-degree angle. The class was astonished when the angles started talking! The first one said, "That's a lovely blouse you're wearing," and the second one chimed in, "And I love what you've done with your hair."
The students asked the teacher if she knew what was going on. She sighed and said, "Well, these angles are supposed to be complementary, but I guess they don't know how to spell."