Degree jokes

Why did the rapper go to school?

To get DE-GREEZ.

Why did the glacier send the iceberg to college?

Because, in order for ice to exist, it must retain a temperature of less than... ZERO DEGREES at the atomic level!

I'm running out of degrees? I guess I better throw myself in fire to raise my internal temperature (measured in degrees).

If I had a loonie for every degree I have, I wouldn't have a loonie.

It's a very smart day today. I'd say it has about 30-45 degrees, with humidex.

Did you hear about the volcano that was accepted into Cambridge?

It was a decision on the number of degrees it holds, which is a lot, because volcanoes have lava if they're active. And ours was.

Do you want to know why I hired a protractor to tutor my nephew in IIROC? Because he has degrees. 180 of them. So he's smar[t].

Why did the rapper go to school?

To get his degree in FLOW-NOMICS.

You know what they say: "Location, location, location." So my dad stuck a thermometer up his butt, and now he has degrees.

1. Full name: John.

2. Proverb: work is not a rabbit, does not run.

3. Favorite meal: the sphinx with the sour cream.

4. Sexual orientation: sexually disorientated.

5. Mental health: mentally retarded.

6. Previous careers: funeral undertaking, after that two years in the circus as the main brown bear, after that in the church school for two years, after this experience five years as a screw in the jail for the worst criminals with the top degree of supervision and now working for the secret services in my home country after gaining the top-secret audit.

7. Favorite pets: dog, bumble bee named Maxo, a butterfly named Redwing and the lizard named Notail.

8. Favorite activities: washing the dishes, cutting the woods, vacuuming and playing hard rock.

9. Working motivation: none.

I hope that you will accept my curriculum vitae and that we will see each other soon already as new colleagues, I wish more or less. Kind regards, John.

How does a well-educated graduate approach a delicate situation?

I don't know, how does a well-graduated education approach a what?

With a degree!