Death jokes

A guy goes onto a rooftop bar and is sitting next to a guy who says he’s drinking a magical drink. He asks, “What’s so magical about it?” The guy drives a car and flies it around the rooftop. The other tries, but falls off and dies.

The bartender shakes his head and says, “Y’know, you’re a real jerk when you’re drunk, Superman.”

What do you call a blonde in the freezer?

Her parents named her Cindy, so we should probably continue to call her that. She was supposed to graduate tomorrow.

How many dead children does it take to change the light in a basement?

More than ten, apparently.

People told Kobe to fly high. Look what happened.

A miscarriage always brings the child out in me.

I had a goldfish that could break dance on the carpet... but only for, like, twenty seconds and only once.

If you bet on Russian roulette, even if you win, you still lose.

My old platoon sergeant always told me the hardest thing when walking through a field of dead babies was... his cock.

Why did the feminist kill herself?

Because she was TRIGGERED.

I like George Floyd's new song. It is really breathtaking.

Why couldn’t people use the George Floyd action figure? Because it was vacuum sealed.

Why does dark humor love orphans? Because the humor killed their parents.

Are you a toaster?

'Cause I wanna take a bath with you.

Hey, what is the difference between a painting and a wife?

Only the wife was hung up.

How do you make a builder cry?

Kill his family.

I wanted to play as Kobe Bryant on my gaming console, but the game kept crashing.

What is the difference between Betty White and Paul Walker?

Betty didn’t reach 100 before she died.

What's the difference between Paul Walker and a computer?

I give a fuck if my computer crashes.

Why did Kayla go to the river when she was sad?

To drown herself.

I want to die like my grandpa, with a blindfold and a wet sponge on his head.