Death jokes
I’ll never forget my Granddad’s last words to me just before he died.
“Are you still holding the ladder?”
Sally threw herself a birthday party, and only one person showed up. Who is it?
The grim reaper.
Crucifixion was the first T-pose.
How do you create the world's quickest human pyramid?
Turn on the gas chamber.
What is long, brown, and cures depression?
A noose.
I wanna die.
Where do mathematicians go to die?
The symmetry.
How many dead children does it take to change the light in a basement?
More than ten, apparently.
I was digging in our garden when I found a chest completely full of gold coins.
I was about to run straight home to tell my wife about it, but then I remembered why I was digging in our garden.
What do Spider-Man and suicidal people have in common?
They both hang.
I have a question: Does aging affect corpses, too?
Just asking to know if I still count as a pedophile or not!
My friend had one request for me before he committed suicide, and that was to play Van Halen’s “Jump” at his funeral.
What do you call a serial killer that only kills fat people?
A mass murderer.
What does a Travis Scott concert and the Titanic cabin have in common? The music doesn’t stop when people start dying.
Some people say I like heights; others say I'm a daredevil.
In reality, I like killing myself.
I had a friend who was a dwarf. He committed suicide. He jumped off a curb.
Q: What's yellow and floats?
A: A bus full of children.
I make suicidal jokes because I am a suicidal joke. And now for my closing act at the end of the rope.
When you're depressed about the world :( but you remember you will soon die :)
How does the next train stop for a depressive person? Death.