Death jokes
A man in conversation with his friend says that his wife is on a 3-week diet. The friend curiously asks, how much has she lost? The man replies, "her life."
What was going through the student's heads during a school shooting?
Bullets.
Are you a toaster?
'Cause I wanna take a bath with you.
Like this if you have ever had a family member die.
Did you hear about the cemetery? I heard that people are dying to be there.
Me: Are you an orphan?
Orphan: Yes, what gave me away?
Me: Your parents.
Why did the orphan cross the road? (Not to see his mom or dad.)
I still remember the last thing my grandfather said before kicking the bucket: "Hey, wanna see how far I can kick this bucket?"
If the US ate chicken, it would die.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
He ran out of battery life.
I would like to die like my Islamic father, in his sleep, but not like the rest of the people in the plane or those in those identical towers.
What’s red, blonde, and wet?
Saskia in grain.
People say that they miss xxxtentacion, like the bullet didn’t.
Why did the chicken want to cross the road? Because he was suicidal and wanted to get hit by a car.
Make a wish kid: I want to meet Mac Miller.
Make a wish staff: You will soon, chief.
Your hairline is so bad that the queen died when looking at it!
I like my bread how I like my wife: cold and stiff.
If you execute someone in ventricular fibrillation in the electric chair, will they come back to life once and then die?
I actually think Paul Walker was a good man, he did not deserve to be burned alive.
He had a change of race tho when he died.
Your mom! Oh wait, you don't have one.