Death jokes
What do you call a zombie?
Nothing because zombies aren’t real, and if they were, you would be dead.
Once I tried to tell my friend a joke about dead people... but it went six feet underground...
I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandpa, not screaming in terror like everyone else in the plane.
Roses are red, violets are blue, my mom and dad died, next you'll be gone too.
So I was digging in the garden and I found some treasure. I was gonna tell my wife when I remembered why I was digging in the garden.
It works, my brother has never slept better
What does the school shooter do after shooting all the kids?
Shoot kids in them ;)
What do school shooting jokes and school shooting victims have in common? They never get old.
Hey, what is the difference between a painting and a wife?
Only the wife was hung up.
Like my daddy? Too bad you don't have one.
How do you know when a fat person stops eating? You read about it in the obituary.
Leave a man on a plane, and he flies for a day.
Throw a man off a plane, and he flies for the rest of his life.
One time the dog got bit by a snake, so my dad had to shoot it. My dad said to me, "This is what's going to happen to your little brother." "What little brother?" Exactly.
What’s the difference between a retard and a zombie? Nothing much, they both dribble, moan, are hungry, walk weirdly, and it takes a bullet in the head to put them both down.
People tell Kobe to fly high, but when he flew high, he died.
Why did the family move away?
Because they lost their son.
I was in a school shooting a few years ago, 3 people died.
I guess that’s what you get when you’re bad at hide and seek.
What’s a 9/11 victim’s least favorite song?
Drowning Pool - Bodies.
Other girls want a guy who is 6ft, but does me being 6ft under count?
This kid was going to sleep and he said, "Night, Mum. Night, Dad. And night, Grandma, and bye, Grandpa." The next morning, Grandpa died, and the next night he said, "Night, Dad. Night, Mum. Night, Grandma." Grandma died the next morning. The next night he said, "Night, Mum, bye, Dad," and they heard the postman died because he was the dad, lol.
You walk into an old, run-down house and you see that a light is on. You walk over to the light and you see blood all over the room, and you run to the exit to leave, but when you get to the door, somehow it is locked from the outside and you have no choice but to go into the house more. You see another room with a light on, so you go in. When you go in, "flip," all the lights go off, then you see a bright light and then a screen shows up and it says, "Let the game show begin." You see other people next to you and they seem scared, then a wall comes down, you see optical cords and you go on, and then a chainsaw comes at you and it misses you, but the other kid behind you gets hit and dies.
Part two coming soon. This is inspired by the SCP Foundation. Have a nice summer.