Death jokes
What’s loud, red and goes at 200mph?
Paul Walker’s Porsche.
What do you call a serial killer that only kills fat people?
A mass murderer.
My doctor gave me 1 year. So I shot him.
The judge gave me fifteen. Problem solved!
What do Spider-Man and suicidal people have in common?
They both hang.
A young boy is stood on the top of a cliff crying. A priest approaches and says, "Why are you crying my son?" "My parents just crashed the car off the cliff and died." "It's just not your day today is it?" Said the priest, unbuttoning his flies.
My friend had one request for me before he committed suicide, and that was to play Van Halen’s “Jump” at his funeral.
I have a question: Does aging affect corpses, too?
Just asking to know if I still count as a pedophile or not!
That moment when the emo kid hangs himself in a bathroom stall, and the autistic kid thinks it's a pinata.
I make suicidal jokes because I am a suicidal joke. And now for my closing act at the end of the rope.
What does a Travis Scott concert and the Titanic cabin have in common? The music doesn’t stop when people start dying.
Q: What's yellow and floats?
A: A bus full of children.
Some people say I like heights; others say I'm a daredevil.
In reality, I like killing myself.
What song did the Titanic victims listen to as they died?
Ice, Ice Baby!!
I had a friend who was a dwarf. He committed suicide. He jumped off a curb.
When you're depressed about the world :( but you remember you will soon die :)
Hey, my grandfather was part of WWII. Yeah. He killed Hitler!
I told my mom to get rope for a project, and when she got home, I got the good old coat hanger out and hung myself up.
How does the next train stop for a depressive person? Death.
Other girls want a guy who is 6ft, but does me being 6ft under count?
Q: What was the last thing Kurt Cobain said to Courtney Love before he died?
A: “Holes gonna be big.”