Death jokes
Are you a bullet?
*gets shot*
My marriage was on the rocks, so I buried my wife under some.
When you're depressed about the world :( but you remember you will soon die :)
Scientist time travels into the year 2024.
Scientist: So, what happened with the storming of Area 51?
Pedestrian: Oh, you mean The 51 Massacre?
I will unplug your life support to kill my mum and then give her blood so she can bleed more.
The reason Stephen Hawking died was because he switched WiFi routers from Sky to Virgin, so his computer lagged out.
What was the last thing Stephen Hawking said before he died?
"Windows Shut Down."
I’ll never forget my dad’s last words. “Erase my search history, son.”
I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandpa, not screaming in terror like all the passengers on the plane he was flying.
Ok, I found this off of an internet meme, this isn't original:
*grabbing kid* Harambe: Ok kid, I don't have much time, but Obama's last name is- *gunshot*
Me: Cobain!
Friend: No, dude, it's Kobe.
Me: Why? Cobain didn't miss his last shot.
The pinnacle of loyalty is that an ant married an elephant, and after he died, she spent her entire life burying him :)
My girlfriend died in Tokyo during a tsunami. I was sad, but my friend told me, "Don't worry, there are plenty more in the ocean."
Philza: PUT THE ORPHAN DOWN TECHNOBLADE- NO DON-
Technoblade: R.I.P orphan
Suicide isn't a joke. It's called "parkour gone wrong."
I will always remember my dad's last words....
"15 dollars and I'll jump."
When it's not just a phase and you kill yourself to prove it.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Stranger.
Stranger who?
Stranger, why are you in my house masticating my apparent dead wife?
Hey, yesterday I played with my sister. When I woke up, she was gone.
When Stephen Hawking died, I assume his computer crash caused it.