Death jokes
I like my women like I like my microwaves.
Hot, ready to go when I am, and able to kill any baby I put in her.
What were Michael Jackson's last words? "Take me to the children's hospital."
Did you hear about the pervert who couldn't decide whether he was into incest or necrophilia?
He killed his mom and then fucked her.
What were Paul Walker's last words?
I dk probably "WATCH THE FUCKING TREE!"
Boy 1: "Sonic is a fictional character."
Boy 2: "Yeah, just like your dad."
Did yall know this?
How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw 'em.
What's the difference between an orphan dying and a bag of groceries being dropped?
While most agree that both are unfortunate, people actually care when they drop their groceries.
I will always remember my grandfather's last words before he died: "Is that a real chainsaw?"
My friend's mom died, and he also died in a crash.
So, I met Michael Jackson before he died. He dragged me to his bed.
What has 4 limbs and can make a sidewalk red? Me falling from a 20 story building.
Did you know my grandpa was in WW2? He killed Hitler.
What makes an orphan jump?
A bridge.
Why did the koala fall off the tree? Because it was dead, DUHHHHHHHHHHH!
I wish the doctor would prescribe me some medicine that's actually useful, like cyanide.
What does it mean when there is a man in your bed, gasping for breath and saying your name?
It just means that you didn't hold the pillow down long enough.
I'll never forget my Grandad's last words... "Son, where did you get a grenade from?!"
How did Stephen Hawking die?
Somebody threw an EMP at him.
Why did the cowboy die with his boots on??
He didn’t want to stub his toe when he kicked da bucket 😂🤣👌🏻👌🏻.. knee slapper
I want to die.