Death jokes
Why is Stephen Hawking in hell?
He couldn't get his wheelchair up the stairway to heaven.
What’s the best way to get people to remember your birthday? Kill yourself.
Why did the skeleton cross the road?
To get to skull.
Suicide bombers, carry bombs and remember to breathe.
Technoblade was the second worst thing that happened to orphans.
Guys, they weren’t always orphans!
A man comes home, and the wife says, "My ex just died by getting hit by a bus." And the husband said, "I lost my job as a bus driver."
To be brutally honest, I think his wife let him die for money, because they could just plug him back in. Surely they have an Android cable about?
How many babies does it take to paint a wall red?
It depends on how hard you throw them. 😈😈
Q: Why is the graveyard so noisy? A: Because all the coffin.
If you don't get it, it means because of people coughing.
What has 4 limbs and can make a sidewalk red? Me falling from a 20 story building.
I could be red, I could be orange, I could be yellow, I could be green, I could be blue, I could be purple, but I would be dead.
I walk in from work to find my wife dead on the sofa.
As I unzip for one last ride, she says, "BOO!" What kind of sick fuck does that?
What do skeletons do with their organs?
They organize them!
Where was Stephen Hawking buried?
In a black hole. 😂🤣
Stephen Hawking didn’t die. His charger broke.
How do you know your wife is dead?
The sex is the same, but the dishes keep piling up.
"I'm sorry" and "my bad" mean the same thing, unless you're at a funeral.
Don't make Iran jokes. My mom died by a rocket launcher. She was the best sharp shooter in the Iranian army.
What would you like as your last meal?
Fried chicken. Extra crispy.
My girlfriend went to Tokyo, and she died in the tsunami.
Since I was sad, my friend told me, "Don't worry, there's plenty more in the ocean."