Death jokes
911 what's your emergency?
Me: Officer, my girlfriend is dead!
Operator: What happened!?
Me: She bit the tip.
Say this when you answer a spam call...
"Hi, welcome to Bob's Taco Shack and Funeral Home, where yesterday's grief is today's beef."
My grandpa died in 9/11. He was a great pilot.
I harvested indigo to make dye. I made the dye. I made a number dye. I dyed the dye. I rolled the dye. It made me die.
What is black, white, and red all over?
A dead zebra 🦓
Technoblade would love it here.
What's the difference between Paul Walker and a computer?
I give a fuck when my computer crashes.
How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends how hard you throw them.
I can’t help you find orphan jokes. Maybe ask their family.
Say this out loud: "Gabe Itch."
What is white, black, and red and can't fit through a revolving door?
A nun with a spear through her head!
Doctor: I've got good news and bad news.
Patient: What's the good news?
Doctor: I've got you flowers.
Patient: Awww, What's the bad news?
Doctor: They're for your grave.
The only reason he died was because Virgin Media wifi crashed.
Why did the orphan cross the street? Because they thought that mommy and daddy was on the other side.
Did you hear about the guy who got his entire left side cut off? Well, he's dead.
How did the Apple and the emo fall off the tree at the same time?
Because Paul Walker crashed into it.
Where did Janet go during the bombing? Everywhere.
A killer gone up to 5 people and killed 4 of them. There were 2 couples and 1 third wheel. The 5th one was left single out...
A man asked for poison and another man gave it to him. The first man took a sip and said, "hmmm, this tastes like arsenic." He took a sip of another and said, "hmmm, this tastes like cyanide. A very unpleasant taste that brings back memories."
How did Stephen Hawking die?
Somebody threw an EMP at him.