Death jokes

I have a question: Does aging affect corpses, too?

Just asking to know if I still count as a pedophile or not!

A young boy is stood on the top of a cliff crying. A priest approaches and says, "Why are you crying my son?" "My parents just crashed the car off the cliff and died." "It's just not your day today is it?" Said the priest, unbuttoning his flies.

I make suicidal jokes because I am a suicidal joke. And now for my closing act at the end of the rope.

What does a Travis Scott concert and the Titanic cabin have in common? The music doesn’t stop when people start dying.

My friend had one request for me before he committed suicide, and that was to play Van Halen’s “Jump” at his funeral.

If you give someone a plane ticket, they will fly for a day, but if you push them out of a plane, they'll fly for the rest of their life.

Some people say I like heights; others say I'm a daredevil.

In reality, I like killing myself.

Q: What's yellow and floats?

A: A bus full of children.

I had a friend who was a dwarf. He committed suicide. He jumped off a curb.

That moment when the emo kid hangs himself in a bathroom stall, and the autistic kid thinks it's a pinata.

Technoblade would love it here.

What song did the Titanic victims listen to as they died?

Ice, Ice Baby!!

What do you get when you have 10 chicken nuggets and little Jimmy tries to take one?

10 chicken nuggets and a dead little Jimmy.

Other girls want a guy who is 6ft, but does me being 6ft under count?

what do you call it when a person dies in Panera Bread?

Panera dead.

Kill yourself in any way. I'm killing myself the HIGHway.

How does the next train stop for a depressive person? Death.

The IRS hates when you don't have to pay your taxes with this one mind-blowing trick.

I always keep anti-fungal spray with me... because I don't want to share my girlfriend with anyone.

A friend of mine used to be morbidly obese, but after lots of exercise and hard work... We were able to lift his coffin.