Death jokes
Kill yourself in any way. I'm killing myself the HIGHway.
what do you call it when a person dies in Panera Bread?
Panera dead.
I always keep anti-fungal spray with me... because I don't want to share my girlfriend with anyone.
New Teacher: I was an orphan as a kid.
Students: Damn.
Teacher: Is anyone missing?
Students: Your parents!
It's Christmas morning, and all the decorations are done, but the tree looks like it's missing something. *grabs the noose*
Memes
A friend of mine used to be morbidly obese, but after lots of exercise and hard work... We were able to lift his coffin.
When you're depressed about the world :( but you remember you will soon die :)
How does the next train stop for a depressive person? Death.
I told my mom to get rope for a project, and when she got home, I got the good old coat hanger out and hung myself up.
Hey, my grandfather was part of WWII. Yeah. He killed Hitler!
Other girls want a guy who is 6ft, but does me being 6ft under count?
What is worse than a baby getting hanged in a tree?
That same baby getting hanged in multiple trees.
What do you call a decapitated politician?
A severed head of state.
Night chat. #love you forever maybe until I die! 🌸
What do you get when you have 10 chicken nuggets and little Jimmy tries to take one?
10 chicken nuggets and a dead little Jimmy.
What do you call a serial killer that only kills fat people?
A mass murderer.
I had a friend who was a dwarf. He committed suicide. He jumped off a curb.
That moment when the emo kid hangs himself in a bathroom stall, and the autistic kid thinks it's a pinata.
Technoblade would love it here.
Q: What's yellow and floats?
A: A bus full of children.