Death jokes
Doctor: "I'm sorry, but you suffer from a terminal illness and only have 10 to live."
Patient: "What do you mean 10? 10 what? months? weeks?"
Doctor: "9, 8, 7..."
Why did the skeleton not go to the ball?
He had no-body to go with.
Philza: PUT THE ORPHAN DOWN TECHNOBLADE- NO DON-
Technoblade: R.I.P orphan
What’s the difference between grandma getting ran over by a reindeer, and a poor kid’s parents getting ran over by military tractors?
When grandma got ran over by a reindeer, the kids actually gave a sh*t.
When it's not just a phase and you kill yourself to prove it.
Why did Paul Walker regret turning in his test?
Because his grade went from 99 to 0 in less than a second.
Why can't you ever fool an aborted baby?
Because it wasn't born yesterday!
The reason Stephen Hawking died was because he switched WiFi routers from Sky to Virgin, so his computer lagged out.
When you're depressed about the world :( but you remember you will soon die :)
What happened when the 400+ women ate a slice of cake?
She died the next weekend.
Man, I’m so sorry that Stephen Hawking is dead; he was such a good person.
Too bad it’s a staircase to Heaven and not a ramp.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Stranger.
Stranger who?
Stranger, why are you in my house masticating my apparent dead wife?
How did Technoblade actually die?
He got stabbed!
What kind of bug lives in a graveyard?
A zom-BEE.
He died because he rolled too far away from the wall outlet and got unplugged.
My girlfriend died in Tokyo during a tsunami. I was sad, but my friend told me, "Don't worry, there are plenty more in the ocean."
Me: Cobain!
Friend: No, dude, it's Kobe.
Me: Why? Cobain didn't miss his last shot.
I will always remember my dad's last words....
"15 dollars and I'll jump."
What's yellow and can’t swim?
Your dead fish.
Give a man a potato, he is full for a day.
Give a man a poisoned potato, he'll be full for the rest of his life.