Death jokes
How do you create the world's quickest human pyramid?
Turn on the gas chamber.
What is long, brown, and cures depression?
A noose.
Crucifixion was the first T-pose.
I wanna die.
Where do mathematicians go to die?
The symmetry.
experiment
How many dead children does it take to change the light in a basement?
More than ten, apparently.
I was digging in our garden when I found a chest completely full of gold coins.
I was about to run straight home to tell my wife about it, but then I remembered why I was digging in our garden.
What do you get when you have 10 chicken nuggets and little Jimmy tries to take one?
10 chicken nuggets and a dead little Jimmy.
I had a friend who was a dwarf. He committed suicide. He jumped off a curb.
Some people say I like heights; others say I'm a daredevil.
In reality, I like killing myself.
If you give someone a plane ticket, they will fly for a day, but if you push them out of a plane, they'll fly for the rest of their life.
The IRS hates when you don't have to pay your taxes with this one mind-blowing trick.
How does the next train stop for a depressive person? Death.
what do you call it when a person dies in Panera Bread?
Panera dead.
Kill yourself in any way. I'm killing myself the HIGHway.
Other girls want a guy who is 6ft, but does me being 6ft under count?
A friend of mine used to be morbidly obese, but after lots of exercise and hard work... We were able to lift his coffin.
What do you call a decapitated politician?
A severed head of state.
Night chat. #love you forever maybe until I die! 🌸
What is worse than a baby getting hanged in a tree?
That same baby getting hanged in multiple trees.