Death jokes
Why did the orphan cross the road?
To reunite with his parents.
My impression of Michael Jackson's butler:
When answering the phone: "No, sorry, he's dead." *hangs up phone*
Kurt Cobain's last job was a blow job. He blew his head clean off.
What would you like as your last meal?
Fried chicken. Extra crispy.
How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw them.
Did yall know this?
When you're depressed about the world :( but you remember you will soon die :)
Kobe never died, he just faded away.
Why was Jesus not good at Basketball?
Because he died in the Cross 😈
What do you call a person with cancer?
A ghost with a body.
What were Michael Jackson's last words? "Take me to the children's hospital."
What were Paul Walker's last words?
I dk probably "WATCH THE FUCKING TREE!"
Me: Hi, my name is...
Bro: Hey guys! So who are you?
Me: Hey, stop dude!
Bro: How is it going, bro--
Me: SHUT UP!
Bro: Is that a gun?
Me: *Pointing at bro*
Bro: Dude, I'm...
Me: *BANG* *BANG*
Me: Finally, it's over.
How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw 'em.
What's the only good part of your crush dying before you have the chance to bang her?
She can't say no!
My friend's mom died, and he also died in a crash.
I like my women like I like my microwaves.
Hot, ready to go when I am, and able to kill any baby I put in her.
What's the difference between an orphan dying and a bag of groceries being dropped?
While most agree that both are unfortunate, people actually care when they drop their groceries.
Where did Sally go when the bomb went off?
Everywhere.
Why did Sally fall off the swing?
She had no arms.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Not Sally.
Do you know why dead baby jokes are always funny?
They never get old.
Boy 1: "Sonic is a fictional character."
Boy 2: "Yeah, just like your dad."