Death jokes
Where do terrorists go when they die?
Answer: Everywhere.
I will never forget my grandpa's last words, Hold the ladder!
You could say Kobe's career went up in smoke.
Stephen only died because his wife tripped over the power cord.
Prince, don't die! Just don't! Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaasse!
Nothing is funny about the Name who died an agonizing death, was mocked, spit on, and humiliated all because we were sinners and God saved us so we could be free from the punishment of sin.
Jesus is sinless and perfect and loving. How dare you!
What do world hunger and a Mercedes have in common?
Diana can't stop either.
Where did the orphan go after the orphanage blew up everywhere?
Why did Steward die in the toilet?
He saw his Undercut in the mirror.
Who was most surprised by Jeffrey Epstein's suicide?
Jeffrey Epstein.
doctor: you need to eat healthy.
me: no.
doctor: the last patient who didn't change their diet after I suggested it died.
me: oh my goodness.
doctor: in a plane crash.
me: that sounds unrelated.
doctor: I'm the one that crashed it. Do not disobey me!
I like George Floyd's new song. It is really breathtaking.
Me: The man sleeped in a $200 bed in His hole life so why dose he need a $2,000 coffin?
My friend: They're cheaper at Costco.
Me: Oh shit, you're going to have "fun" this weekend.
What might an aborted child want for Christmas?
..... a home that isn't a bin.
What does the dead man say to the other? He says, "Your daughter is pretty."
The other man says, "How do you know?"
The other man says, "Because she is dead."
Q. What's a necrophiliac's favorite dating site? A. Find a Grave.
Why aren't there any closets in southern churches? Closets have coat hangers.
What did the baby cow say to the mommy cow when he saw a hamburger?
"Mommy, is that Uncle Joe?"
Why are graveyards so noisy?
Because of all the coffin!
How are corpses like pools?
Once you get in, it's only cold for like a minute.