Imagine if on April first the government says, "Hahhaha, you all fell for it. Covid-19 is fake; we actually killed all those people, lol."
Death Jokes
Cremation:
My last hope for a smoking hot body.
I told a diabetic boy to have sweet dreams, and he died the next morning.
A guy goes onto a rooftop bar and is sitting next to a guy who says he’s drinking a magical drink. He asks, “What’s so magical about it?” The guy drives a car and flies it around the rooftop. The other tries, but falls off and dies.
The bartender shakes his head and says, “Y’know, you’re a real jerk when you’re drunk, Superman.”
What do you call a blonde in the freezer?
Her parents named her Cindy, so we should probably continue to call her that. She was supposed to graduate tomorrow.
People told Kobe to fly high. Look what happened.
How many dead children does it take to change the light in a basement?
More than ten, apparently.
If you bet on Russian roulette, even if you win, you still lose.
I had a goldfish that could break dance on the carpet... but only for, like, twenty seconds and only once.
My old platoon sergeant always told me the hardest thing when walking through a field of dead babies was... his cock.
A miscarriage always brings the child out in me.
Why did the feminist kill herself?
Because she was TRIGGERED.
What’s loud, red and goes at 200mph?
Paul Walker’s Porsche.
Are you a toaster?
'Cause I wanna take a bath with you.
Why does dark humor love orphans? Because the humor killed their parents.
Hey, what is the difference between a painting and a wife?
Only the wife was hung up.
Sketchy dude: If you push this button you get 100 million dollars but 100 million people would die.
Me: If I push it more than once do I get more money?
Sketchy dude: Yes, but more people die.
Me: *rapidly pushes button* This is how you solve world hunger.
Sketchy dude: ... wtf, you're insane.
Me: ...
How do you make a builder cry?
Kill his family.
I wanted to play as Kobe Bryant on my gaming console, but the game kept crashing.
What's the difference between Paul Walker and a computer?
I give a fuck if my computer crashes.
