Death

Death jokes

Dwarf

I had a friend who was a dwarf. He committed suicide. He jumped off a curb.

Orphan

New Teacher: I was an orphan as a kid.

Students: Damn.

Teacher: Is anyone missing?

Students: Your parents!

Woman

Relationship

Who’s stronger in a relationship, a man or a woman? A woman, because it takes six men to carry him to his grave; it only takes one woman to put him there.

Susie

"Why did Susie fall off the swing?" "Because she had no arms."

"Why couldn’t she get up off the ground?" "Because she had no friends."

"Knock knock." "Who’s there?" "Not Susie, she’s still on the ground."

"Where did Susie go when the bomb went off?" "Everywhere."

"Why couldn’t Susie scratch her leg?" "Because it was in a different body bag."

"Why did Susie drop her ice cream?" "She was hit by a bus."

"Why did Susie fall off the swing?" "Someone threw a refrigerator at her."

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  • Memes

    Tragedy

    omg im sobbing so hard, saddest yt comment ever bro, challenge, find a sadder one

    A screenshot of a YouTube comment. It tells a story about a person whose mother and sister die in a car accident. After some time, they open their old PS2 and find a note from their mom stating that they can play after the chores are done. She also writes that she loves them. The commenter notes that the mother never came home and they never received their hugs and kisses.

    Baby

    What’s green and orange and sits at the bottom of the swimming pool?

    A baby with burst armbands.

    Hammer

    Last time I talked to my girlfriend, she was yelling at me to put the hammer down.

    COVID-19

    Imagine if on April first the government says, "Hahhaha, you all fell for it. Covid-19 is fake; we actually killed all those people, lol."

    Boy

    I told a diabetic boy to have sweet dreams, and he died the next morning.

    Superman

    A guy goes onto a rooftop bar and is sitting next to a guy who says he’s drinking a magical drink. He asks, “What’s so magical about it?” The guy drives a car and flies it around the rooftop. The other tries, but falls off and dies.

    The bartender shakes his head and says, “Y’know, you’re a real jerk when you’re drunk, Superman.”

    Blonde

    What do you call a blonde in the freezer?

    Her parents named her Cindy, so we should probably continue to call her that. She was supposed to graduate tomorrow.

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  • Child

    How many dead children does it take to change the light in a basement?

    More than ten, apparently.

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  • Goldfish

    I had a goldfish that could break dance on the carpet... but only for, like, twenty seconds and only once.

    Cock

    My old platoon sergeant always told me the hardest thing when walking through a field of dead babies was... his cock.