Death jokes

What does the school shooter do after shooting all the kids?

Shoot kids in them ;)

The greatest doctor, smartest man, young geek, and inspiring preacher are on a plane. The pilot dies of a heart attack and is confirmed by the doctor. But, there are only 3 parachutes on the plane. The doctor takes one and says,

"People need me for my excellent medicine!" and jumps out. The smart man grabs one and shouts,

"People are in need of my great knowledge!" and jumps out. There is only one more parachute on the plane. The preacher says to the geek,

"You are too young. Take the final parachute and go." The geek instead says,

"No, there are two parachutes left, the 'smart' one took my backpack."

I don't have much motivation for things, that's why I haven't yet killed myself, hehe.

Like my daddy? Too bad you don't have one.

What does a dead baby look like?

I don't know, I close my eyes when I masturbate.

I saw an orphan on the street. I said, "Where are your parents?" He cried and said, "My mum and dad died in a car crash!" 😆😆😂😂🤣

What did the first skeleton say to the second skeleton?

What's yellow and can't swim?

A school bus full of dead babies.

Why would an orphan be a good Spider-Man?

Because his parents will be far from home.

What's the difference between a trampoline and a dead baby?

I take my boots off before jumping on a trampoline.

One time the dog got bit by a snake, so my dad had to shoot it. My dad said to me, "This is what's going to happen to your little brother." "What little brother?" Exactly.

"Wheel" all miss him, right?

Are suicide bombers taught properly how to fly, or...

Are they just given a quick crash course?

People tell Kobe to fly high, but when he flew high, he died.

What's worse than a bag of dead babies? One at the bottom is still wriggling.

How Steven Hawking died: because he moved too much during the day and ran out of juice.

Roses or daisies? Now I know what flowers to put on your casket when I murder that pussy.

So I told an orphan to slap themselves until they are wanted. I came back the next day to see them slapping themselves. Then I stopped them and told them to punch themselves.

The next day I saw a dead orphan.

Who are the fastest readers ever? 9/11 victims, they went through 89 stories in 7 seconds.

How do you know your wife is dead?

The sex is the same, but the dishes keep piling up.