Death jokes
Technoblade never got a wife.
POV: Orphans rule the world.
God said, "I'm your dad," then kills himself.
The orphan: Waaaaaa!
What’s the best way to make sure you don’t get COVID?
Suicide.
What do you do if you see a nigger shot 50 times? Stop laughing and reload.
How do emos fly? They hang themselves.
We finally have something in common with Africa. They die of starvation, we die of overeating.
Me: Hi, my name is...
Bro: Hey guys! So who are you?
Me: Hey, stop dude!
Bro: How is it going, bro--
Me: SHUT UP!
Bro: Is that a gun?
Me: *Pointing at bro*
Bro: Dude, I'm...
Me: *BANG* *BANG*
Me: Finally, it's over.
My dog died today. 😥
This 15-year-old girl wanted a cross on her room with a long nail on the end over her bed. Unfortunately, it killed her dad because it fell off the wall.
(Do you get the joke?)
(Her dad was on her, and it fell and killed him.)
Once, there was a woman who had a husband and a dog. The husband dies.
The dog would always sleep under the bed, and when the woman would go to sleep, she'd put her hand down, and the dog would lick it to say she/he was alright. One night, it was thunderstorming. She put her hand down and the dog licked normally. She heard the dog whimper, so she put her hand down like normal, as the dog always does, he/she licks her hand.
Then she heard dripping coming from the bathroom, so she went to go stop the leaking that might be coming from the tap, but the tap wasn't on, nor was it dripping. She turns on the light and looks up at the roof to see if the roof was leaking but turns out her dog was hung by its head above the bathtub.
On the mirror it said, "Humans can lick too," in the dog's blood.
This is a true story, don't be afraid to look it up!
A suicidal boy went up to a tree and said "hi".
The tree never responded; it left him hanging.
Did you know Paul Walker had dandruff?
Neither did I until I found his Head and Shoulders in the glove compartment.
Juice WRLD
More like "Juice Boxed."
RIP tho.
If your controller ever dies, remember those people that died on the submersible.
Fastest story readers are 9/11 victims.
They went through 87 stories in 7 seconds.
Health commercials be like:
Serious side effects can cause:
Nausea, diarrhea, vomiting, chills, fever, cancer, diabetes, AIDS, chlamydia, lupus, Ebola, polio, leprosy, pulmonary edema, heart attack, heart failure, yellow fever, but worst of all, DEATH!
I wish I was at a Western bar; then I would get shot.
I knew a girl that died from having phone sex... She died of hearing aids.
A man went into a library and asked for a book on how to do suicide, and the librarian said, "Fuck off, you won't bring it back."
The other day my mom called me a retard.
I'm now an orphan.