Death jokes

what's the difference between an emo and an apple? the apple falls to the ground while the emo just hangs there.

Michael Jackson died of shock when he found out Boys II Men wasn't a delivery service.

Your mum is so old that when I told her to act her age, she died.

That moment when the emo kid hangs himself in a bathroom stall, and the autistic kid thinks it's a pinata.

I told a crippled guy he is immortal because he can't kick the bucket.

My initials are K.M.C.

Which could also stand for "Kill Main Character".

Which I am planning to do in this book I’m writing.

I’m writing an autobiography.

What did the cannibal do after he dumped his wife?

He wiped.

I have been thinking about suicide lately. I mean, hey, my mom tells me I can do anything I put my mind to.

What was found under MJ's pillow after he died?

Billy's jeans.

What do a relationship and suicidal thought have in common? They’ll both end soon.

After a suicide joke say, "Don't leave me hanging, or I'll cut it out."

What do you call a cleaning skeleton?

The Grim Sweeper.

Q: Why do depressed people always have colored hair?

A: That’s as close as they can get to dye.

As I get older, I remember all the people I lost along the way. Maybe a career as a tour guide was not the right choice.

Mufasa, proof that cats don't always land on their feet.

Alyas' dad died, that's comedy. Something not funny is like BLM.

What does a bicycle and Jade Goody have in common?

They can't reach 30.

Friends: "You wanna hang with us?"

Me: "No, I wanna hang myself."

You learn from the best.

Why do old people swallow popcorn kernels?

To make their cremation more entertaining when they die.

You have a six-minute timer to live, but when you breathe, it resets.