Death jokes

What do you call a woman who aborted her quadruplets? A graveyard.

Orphan

It’s OK if emo kids always hang from the trees, but if we do it, it’s considered against the law.

Yo mama so fat that she would die before reaching the gates of heaven.

An emo girl and a squirrel both fall out of a tree. Who hits the ground first? The squirrel. The rope stops the emo girl.

You're walking on the street when you realize that you're in the road as you feel the horn dying away.

What's one thing you should never ask a suicidal person? "Are you okay?" because the next day they'll either be dead or have a lot more cuts than they started with.

To those who are dead now, was it fun?

All zodiac signs have a hair style, but cancer is just a one-way thing.

What do you call a dad without a dad joke?

Dead.

Suicide won't work, I'm already dead inside.

I asked my mother about her mom.

She said she was in a better place. After that, I asked her where that place is. She didn't know, so I sent her to a better place.

What's big, black, and touches children?

Harambe.

Just to an orphan.

Orphan: You're stupid.

You: You're so ugly, it's the reason your parents are dead.

For this orphan, his dad didn't only go and get the milk. His mom did too.

The Britains walk in the house of the alcoholic grandad. They ask Mary, the mum, why she had blood all over her, and she said someone dropped the butter. They walked into the living room, and Thomas was dead on the floor.

Why did the chicken kill himself?

To get to the other side.

Give a man a match, and he's warm for a few minutes. Set him on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

What's the difference between your dad and cancer?

Cancer came back...

Dead.

What’s the difference between me and Chester Bennington?

I know how to use an exercise band.