Death jokes
How did Billy find out he was in a minefield?
He saw his dad's corpse holding a jug of milk.
I was reading a book one day when I suddenly heard a sound. It was the Grim Reaper. I ignored it and continued reading my book. Suddenly, I realized that I was one of the main characters, which, at the end, dies.
I used to like fireworks, but I'm dead now. Fireworks look like a charm if you don't mind something a little ghostly.
What lies beneath your nose and is being picked on? Your boogers.
If it’s called the “living room,” why did my grandma die there?
How do you make a plumber sad? You kill his family.
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Farrah Fawcett? Six hours.
All these suicide jokes are f***ing killing me.
How do you get a smoking hot body as a senior?
Cremation.
What do world hunger and a Mercedes have in common?
Diana can't stop either.
Bro, Kobe Bryant is singing with the basketball team in his helicopter, celebrating right now, I bet.
Oh wait, I forgot.
I was digging in my garden when I found a treasure chest full of gold. I was about to run inside and tell my wife, but then I remembered why I was digging in my garden.
When you're driving past a graveyard say: "Wow, people were just dying to get in there."
To be brutally honest, I think his wife let him die for money, because they could just plug him back in. Surely they have an Android cable about?
Danny, your mum [is] dead as hell and got raggedy shoes on.
Why did Hitler die? He got hit by 'ler'.
What does the school shooter do after he shoots a victim? He shoots more kids in them!
What's Juice Wrld's favorite salad? A seizure salad.
What does a cannibal ask for when leaving a restaurant?
"Can I have a bodybag?"
The mom: "Where did Timmy go after exploring that minefield across the road, honey?"
The dad: "Everywhere."
One time the dog got bit by a snake, so my dad had to shoot it. My dad said to me, "This is what's going to happen to your little brother." "What little brother?" Exactly.
Attended my boss's funeral to pay my respects. On my way out, I leaned over his casket and whispered lightly, "Well, look who's thinking outside the box now."