Death jokes
Where do orphans have their family reunions?
The graveyard.
The biggest inconvenience in 2001, I thought, was my brother. Turns out it was 9/11. I guess the planes saw him be born and died from how ugly he was. Aluh aluckbar.
What do you call a car on the side of the road, lit up and ablaze?
Paul Walker's death.
There are too many suicidal people in this world. I’m going to make sure there is at least one less.
Everyone always has a special person in their life someday, but I think yours got ran over by a bus.
More like so they can fuck him, am I right?
This kid was going to sleep and he said, "Night, Mum. Night, Dad. And night, Grandma, and bye, Grandpa." The next morning, Grandpa died, and the next night he said, "Night, Dad. Night, Mum. Night, Grandma." Grandma died the next morning. The next night he said, "Night, Mum, bye, Dad," and they heard the postman died because he was the dad, lol.
Why didn't the skeleton go to prom?
He was dead. You fool. You fell for my trick. I'm very heartless.
Oh wait.
You fool!
Are you a toaster? 'Cause I wanna take a bath with you.
Are you a knife? 'Cause you make me wanna KMS.
Are you a painting? 'Cause I hang you.
Are you the flu? 'Cause you make me wanna hurl.
Are you a newspaper? 'Cause you have new problems every day.
Are you the ground? 'Cause I'm six feet deep in you ;)
Do you know what organ remains warm even after a woman dies?
My penis (or rather my neutron laser priming its firing sequence).
Never attempt to foreshadow your own death, you may end up regretting it. You can chop me up and throw me in the fridge if I’m wrong.
Dark humor is like kids with cancer; they never get old.
What will die immediately instead of having to suffer torture on the spike of a Judas cradle? A Geometry Dash icon.
When they walk in and you're fucking... everyone at the morgue.
A boy sat in his bed, watching a meteor shower. He was a vengeful child and wished that his parents would no longer bother him whilst he was gaming.
The next morning, he woke up to find his mother had passed away in the night. Clearly his wish had worked. However, his father worked a midnight job, and as such the boy was very confused when he returned home from work, expecting him to have met the same fate.
The two of them then looked out the window in thought, only to find the milkman lying dead on the pavement.
God, I miss Stephen Hawking.
He was brainier than Kurt Cobain's ceiling.
What's a baby orphan's favorite joke?
"When am I gonna see my parents?"
Lmao.
This bitch got mad at me because I couldn’t last four strokes. What the fuck are you mad at me for? My grandpa didn’t even survive one.
Some kid online: I f*cked your mom.
Me, an orphan: Jokes on you, I don’t have one!
Why didn't the skeleton go to the party?
Because he had "no-body" to go with.