Death jokes
I was in a toxic relationship. After some time, my girlfriend died. Her name was Happy. Still got no clue of her body, and here I am lying on the bed so fucking happy.
Two Twin Towers topple to terrorists terrorizing twenty to-be-doomed trip takers.
One day, there are friends having fun.
Hours later, one of the friends, Alice, wanted to leave and said, "Cya guys, I'm just gonna hang in the tree and have some fresh air."
And they all agree.
Hours go by, and the group of friends are ready to go home, but then they see a tree in the distance that looks like someone is hanging on the tree with a tight rope.
A little girl said to her mom, "Mom, my butt's cracked, kiss it, kiss it!" Her mom said, "Sweetie, shut up, it's always been there!" Then her daughter died 'cause of her melodramaticness.
Humpty Dumpty fell off the wall, his mom did a terri-fried call.
He got hurt in a egg-cident, and it never got eggs-elent.
When the eggs-plant was over, he got told to use the mower.
It happened too fast, he watched the very last.
Next he died, eaten all fried.
What does an apple and suicidal person have in common?
They're both hanging from a tree.
People named Joey are autistic and need to die fatty.
Cemeteries should be built next to orphanages, so the orphans can see their parents.
Repeat after me: Die angle; die angle; sweetie. Angels don't die! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
What is George Floyd's pickup line?
You are breathtaking.
My life.
Kill me, please.
Race car backwards is race car, but if you turn race car sideways, that’s how Paul Walker got sent to God’s inbox.
What's the only good part of your crush dying before you have the chance to bang her?
She can't say no!
Kid says to genie,
"I want to be like Batman!"
Kid goes home, both of them are dead.
Famous last words of my uncle, (a bomb disposal expert): "yes, the red wire."
Judge: We shall now sentence you for the murder of your parents.
Accused: Please consider a lenient sentence, your honor.
Judge: But why?
Accused: Because I’m an orphan.
If Bruce Willis (the guy in the Christmas movie Die Hard) dies of a Viagra overdose, would that mean he truly dies hard?
When it's not just a phase and you kill yourself to prove it.
What's the difference between me and my mate...
I left my dad, while hers left with their friend Cancer.
Me: Dark humor jokes are like a mother's love.
Orphan: How come?
Me: You wouldn't get it.
Orphan: . . . .