Death jokes
Alyas' dad died, that's comedy. Something not funny is like BLM.
Mufasa, proof that cats don't always land on their feet.
What does a bicycle and Jade Goody have in common?
They can't reach 30.
What did the cannibal do after he dumped his wife?
He wiped.
Your mum is so old that when I told her to act her age, she died.
what's the difference between an emo and an apple? the apple falls to the ground while the emo just hangs there.
Friends: "You wanna hang with us?"
Me: "No, I wanna hang myself."
You learn from the best.
My grandpa told me I was too dependent on devices. I told him he was a hypocrite and unplugged him from his life support.
What do alcoholics and necrophiliacs have in common?
They both like cracking open a cold one.
My initials are K.M.C.
Which could also stand for "Kill Main Character".
Which I am planning to do in this book I’m writing.
I’m writing an autobiography.
Michael Jackson died of shock when he found out Boys II Men wasn't a delivery service.
Why do old people swallow popcorn kernels?
To make their cremation more entertaining when they die.
Congrats to George Floyd on 2 years sobriety.
I told a crippled guy he is immortal because he can't kick the bucket.
What's yellow and can't swim?
A dead goldfish.
My grandfather said I was too reliant on technology. I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support.
You have a six-minute timer to live, but when you breathe, it resets.
Why can't dinosaurs clap?
Because they're dead.
What's worse than a dead baby?
A pile of dead babies. What's worse than that? The one on the bottom is alive. And what's worst than that is, the baby has to eat its way out.
What is Beethoven doing now?
Decomposing.