Death jokes

I went to a funeral to revive my dead grandmother with the Reboot Card, but my family was upset!

To be brutally honest, I think his wife let him die for money, because they could just plug him back in. Surely they have an Android cable about?

How do you make a plumber sad?

You kill his family.

You know what should give up and stay dead?

Fortnite.

What's worse than 1 tree with 10,000 dead babies on it?

1 baby on 10,000 trees.

Can I die?

Two scientists walk into a bar. The first one says: "I'll have some H2O."

The second one says: "I'll have some H2O, too." And then he died.

What's the difference between Rorochan and skydivers?

One does it for the cash, the other for the views.

I’ll always remember my father’s last words: “I’m gonna sleep for a little.”

Why do people misplace 9/11 with emo kids? They both have a high death count.

Why did the man get run over?

Ur mom XD

My ex died today.

I also lost my job as a butcher.

The only reason he died was because Virgin Media wifi crashed.

Roses are red, your mother has said, "Come back again, and you'll be dead!"

Never challenge death to a pillow fight.

Unless you're prepared for the reapercushions.

Why can’t Helen Keller have kids?

Answer: She’s dead.

What's the difference between Paul Walker and a computer?

I give a fuck when my computer crashes.

Beethoven composed his whole life.

What did he do in the afterlife? He decomposed! Har har har har har har.

My dad told me a story today. His mom, my grandma, said if a bird gets in your house, someone will die.

That day, a hummingbird got in his UPS truck, and that’s the day he found out that my grandma had cancer. 😭😭😭😭😭 6 weeks later, she died. 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Yo momma so fat she died at 5. Her kids, f

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