Death jokes
What did the cannibal do after he dumped his wife?
He wiped.
What do you call a cleaning skeleton?
The Grim Sweeper.
What was found under MJ's pillow after he died?
Billy's jeans.
After a suicide joke say, "Don't leave me hanging, or I'll cut it out."
I have been thinking about suicide lately. I mean, hey, my mom tells me I can do anything I put my mind to.
Michael Jackson died of shock when he found out Boys II Men wasn't a delivery service.
Your mum is so old that when I told her to act her age, she died.
Friends: "You wanna hang with us?"
Me: "No, I wanna hang myself."
You learn from the best.
I told a crippled guy he is immortal because he can't kick the bucket.
what's the difference between an emo and an apple? the apple falls to the ground while the emo just hangs there.
That moment when the emo kid hangs himself in a bathroom stall, and the autistic kid thinks it's a pinata.
My initials are K.M.C.
Which could also stand for "Kill Main Character".
Which I am planning to do in this book I’m writing.
I’m writing an autobiography.
What do a relationship and suicidal thought have in common? They’ll both end soon.
As I get older, I remember all the people I lost along the way. Maybe a career as a tour guide was not the right choice.
Q: Why do depressed people always have colored hair?
A: That’s as close as they can get to dye.
Mufasa, proof that cats don't always land on their feet.
Alyas' dad died, that's comedy. Something not funny is like BLM.
What does a bicycle and Jade Goody have in common?
They can't reach 30.
Why can't dinosaurs clap?
Because they're dead.
What's yellow and can't swim?
A dead goldfish.