Death jokes

What do you call a cleaning skeleton?

The Grim Sweeper.

What do a relationship and suicidal thought have in common? They’ll both end soon.

Alyas' dad died, that's comedy. Something not funny is like BLM.

What does a bicycle and Jade Goody have in common?

They can't reach 30.

Mufasa, proof that cats don't always land on their feet.

During a discussion at Sunday school, a nun asks the children what they think God takes you by when you die. A kid responds, "I think God takes you by your feet, because once I walked into my parents' room and my mom's feet were in the air and she was screaming, "Oh God, I'm coming!!!"

My grandfather said I was too reliant on technology. I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support.

What's yellow and can't swim?

A dead goldfish.

You have a six-minute timer to live, but when you breathe, it resets.

Why can't dinosaurs clap?

Because they're dead.

What's worse than a dead baby?

A pile of dead babies. What's worse than that? The one on the bottom is alive. And what's worst than that is, the baby has to eat its way out.

All you need is a razor blade in life.

What is Beethoven doing now?

Decomposing.

There was an air crash of a Boeing 737-800 which can carry around 300 passengers.

It crashed in a cemetery.

They recovered 500 bodies.

What was the last hat Princess Diana wore?

A bonnet.

What do a convention of nerds and Kurt Cobain's garage have in common?

There's brains all over the place.

What do you call a gay kid that killed himself?

A byebyesexual.

Are you a toaster? Because I want to take a bath with you.

Roses are red, violets are violets, my dad died in 9/11 and he was a good pilot.

When the teacher calls on you and asks you how many people did Hitler kill?

"One, he killed himself."