Death jokes
I am a dead baby. -end joke-
I heard a neat little trick you can use to have a public pool all to yourself. If you blow a whistle 3 times, everyone will just get out!
What's the best thing about a prostitute dying on you during sex?
The second hour is free.
Everyone at the Queen's funeral:
Me and the boys getting her reboot card.
A man died and went to heaven. Here he met Jesus. There were two clocks. The man asked, "What's with the clocks?" Jesus answered, "This is Mother Theresa's clock. She has not lied, so the clock hasn't moved. This is Abraham Lincoln's clock; he's only lied twice, so it's moved twice." "Where's Donald Trump's?" the man asked. Jesus replied: "It's in my office. I'm using it as a ceiling fan."
Why did Sally fall dead?
Because she was on top of a tower and fell because she had no arms. Hahahahaha!
The man was dangling by a string!
I was jealous the day he died.
Kobe never missed a shot, but he missed the helipad.
I'm going to hell!
Question: How did the cat cross the river?
Answer: It didn’t, it drowned.
What's Juice Wrld's favorite salad? A seizure salad.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
He ran out of battery life.
The orphans all died!!!
Oh wait, no one cares...
Their parents are all dead anyway. We are just making them happier. They get to join their parents in hell.
When Stephen Hawking died, did they take him to the hospital or PC World?
How did I kill Georgee?
I snatched her boat! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!!
My friend told me to make more friends, so I joined a suicide cult.
I’ll be hanging with them for a while.
The other day I went to a museum. My friend and I went to the Holocaust section, and he got choked up when he saw the Anne Frank picture. I asked him, "Why are you sad? It's just an ashtray."
How many babies does it take to paint a wall red?
It depends on how hard you throw them. 😈😈
Why is Sally dead? Cause she has no arms.
My aunt’s star sign is Cancer, so it’s pretty ironic how she died. She was eaten alive by a giant freaking crab!
What do you call a dev that is dead?
A deadveloper.