Death jokes
Why did Paul Walker cross the road?
Because he wasn’t wearing his seat belt.
I found a child on the street homeless, and they were really nice, so I took them home. Then I said, "Who's better, Biden or Trump?" They said they support Trump. They are now dead in my basement and have been for 3 years.
Robin Williams' death was the most horrible impression ever given. (RIP Robin Williams, you will be missed!)
"FUCK FUCK FUCK MY CLOTHES CAUGHT THE FLAME OH MY GOD IT BURNS SO MUCH!"
Why did the orphan like milk?
Because their parents went to get milk and never came back!
I told my grampa hello, and I said, "Hope you die!" hahahhhhahahahahahhahahahhahaha
Jesus told me if I believed I would live for eternity. I believed, but at 97 I died...
I think Jesus is broken.
How does Helen Keller smell?
Pretty bad, she's dead!
When I die, I want my body to be cremated.
And fucked! Fucked really hard, papí!! Like a real whore!! Like a real tramp!! Stuff your entire cock in there!!! Uhh!! Uhh!!
What's 6ft long, red, and my girlfriend cries when I feed it to her?
A miscarriage.
My first thought when I read Betty Pear's obituary was, "Thank God for Alzheimer's!"
I hope Betty Pears was a Buckcherry fan.
She literally died a crazy bitch.
I told my wife I needed a blood transfusion when I could not remember. She said, "Be positive too."
Bad, I am now a ghost writing this.
My friend's dad died during 9/11. He was such a good pilot, but my friend kept disturbing him, so when his dad died, he said, "It was you who killed me" (to the child).
So the child said, "Yoo-hoo? What type of name is Yoo-hoo, but Yoo-hoo, Yoo-hoo come here, I need to kill you NOW."
What do world hunger and a Mercedes have in common?
Diana can't stop either.
How do you prevent a physics teacher from drowning? Shoot her before she touches the water.
Why is Paul Walker a walker?
To let people know he isn't a driver.
What were Paul Walker's last words?
Hey, that tree's growing!
You're so skinny, death mistook you for dead.
How do you help a rape victim on a diet lose 7 pounds?
Kill her afterwards.