Death

Death jokes

Noose

An apple and an emo girl fall from the same height in a tree. Which one hits the ground first? The apple, cuz the noose stops her.

Orphan

What do you call an orphan you put into a volcano with a wheelchair?

Hot Wheels.

Wife

My wife and I went to the bar to get a drink, but 2 mins later, I see her dead on the ground. I guess she couldn't see the bottle flying at her face. Then I laughed and went home.

Info

Why did Stephen Hawking die when he logged onto Facebook?

It took all his info!

School

I went to school and everyone was screaming and looking at me. They weren't after I shot them, though.

Lamborghini

Q: What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a pile of dead babies?

A: A Lamborghini isn't a very fun hobby.