Man: Die, potato!
Potato: *screams*
I like trains.
Kid: I like trains.
Man: No, wait!
Train: *kills man*
Death Jokes
Doctor: Hands husband his baby.
Doctor: I'm sorry but your wife didn't make it.
Husband: Then give me the one she made.
Why did the boy kill his girlfriend?
Because he had a crush on her.
Kid goes to the kitchen.
Mom: What are you doing here?
Kid: Just checking out the knife.
Mom: So you've chosen death.
An elderly man was happy to finally see his wife again and was packing. He told everyone about the trip.
"I will see her in one week!"
A week later, he died.
What is a skeleton's favorite instrument? (comment below)
What’s the difference between 80 dead babies and a Lambo? I don’t have a Lambo in my garage.
What’s the difference between bossatron5678 and a gay man?
One isn’t retarded, and one isn’t gay; the gay man is dead.
Your grandma is pretty old; she'll die soon.
Kids- it's time for Dora.
Kids- YAY!
Nick Jr. host- Today Dora is going on a big adventure with Grandma.
Swiper- Hello kids, I am trying to find my way to Diego's. Will you please help me?
Kids- Where's Dora?
Swiper- She's under cardiac arrest.
Kids- Poor Dora.
Everybody- SWIPER NO SWIPING!
Swiper - AH MAN!!
My dick is red.
Your pussy's pink.
It's really tight
When you're dead.
Orphans don’t have parents, lol.
If the genie from Aladdin was here, my three wishes would be for you to die, your kids to have a miserable life, and for everyone you love to die.
Why did Mom cross the road?
To kill you!
ble get get get gettttt pull the glock pew pew pew pew pew thats the silencer BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM
Did you hear how Stephen Hawking died? He lost WiFi connection.
"Kill yourself."
"Kill me yourself, pussy."
How Steven Hawking died: because he moved too much during the day and ran out of juice.
What do you call a deaf child?
-Ryan Simmonite-
What's the difference between a Ferrari and 100 dead babies?
I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.
