Death jokes
What do Batman and orphans have in common?
Their parents died.
I asked an orphan where his parents were. Then I remembered, they're gone.
At this point, I don't want a funeral when I commit. I just want a going away party so people have an excuse to celebrate.
You see a cat, it's dead, you are dead.
My wife and I went to the bar to get a drink, but 2 mins later, I see her dead on the ground. I guess she couldn't see the bottle flying at her face. Then I laughed and went home.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
He hit Alt+F4.
I killed myself, then woke up.
My grandpa died to ligma.
Ligma balls lol.
What is the difference between you and me? I have parents and yours left...
Desmend: FLY
Draco: FLY
Me: DIE
I went to school and everyone was screaming and looking at me. They weren't after I shot them, though.
Why did Jimmy drop his ice cream?
Because he was dead.
Stephen Hawking died because he lost Wi-Fi connection.
The reason Stephen Hawking died was because his ethernet cable disconnected.
People named Joey are autistic and need to die fatty.
Suicide bombers, carry bombs and remember to breathe.
Q: What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a pile of dead babies?
A: A Lamborghini isn't a very fun hobby.
I got you the candy. Haha! You idiot, it's poison!
My friend's dad died during 9/11. He was such a good pilot, but my friend kept disturbing him, so when his dad died, he said, "It was you who killed me" (to the child).
So the child said, "Yoo-hoo? What type of name is Yoo-hoo, but Yoo-hoo, Yoo-hoo come here, I need to kill you NOW."
I hope Betty Pears was a Buckcherry fan.
She literally died a crazy bitch.