Death jokes
What do you call an orphan you put into a volcano with a wheelchair?
Hot Wheels.
I killed a homeless dude, now she's at the funeral home. 😭💔
That's why your grandma 6 ft deep, feet!
What do you call a car on the side of the road, lit up and ablaze?
Paul Walker's death.
How do Ephippians celebrate their kids' first birthday?
Put a flower on their gravestone.
Stephen Hawking drove too far away from the wall and unplugged himself.
Potters are dead xoxoxoxoxox.
Doctor: “You’ll be at peace soon.”
Man: “Am I dying?”
Doctor: “No, your wife is.”
My dad said not to touch this thingy called a gun, but I looked down that pole and pressed that thing, and now I'm in heaven.
At this point, I don't want a funeral when I commit. I just want a going away party so people have an excuse to celebrate.
I remember my son's last words: "I stubbed my toe!"
I killed myself, then woke up.
My wife and I went to the bar to get a drink, but 2 mins later, I see her dead on the ground. I guess she couldn't see the bottle flying at her face. Then I laughed and went home.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
He hit Alt+F4.
I asked an orphan where his parents were. Then I remembered, they're gone.
Why did the orphan cross the road?
His parents were on the other side!
An emo kid in a leaf falls from a tree. Who falls first? Delete the rope, stop the emo.
What do Batman and orphans have in common?
Their parents died.
What is the difference between you and me? I have parents and yours left...
My grandpa died to ligma.
Ligma balls lol.