Death jokes

My friend's dad died during 9/11. He was such a good pilot, but my friend kept disturbing him, so when his dad died, he said, "It was you who killed me" (to the child).

So the child said, "Yoo-hoo? What type of name is Yoo-hoo, but Yoo-hoo, Yoo-hoo come here, I need to kill you NOW."

I told my wife I needed a blood transfusion when I could not remember. She said, "Be positive too."

Bad, I am now a ghost writing this.

What were Paul Walker's last words?

Hey, that tree's growing!

Once I was riding my bike and saw a $5. I jumped off and died.

You're so skinny, death mistook you for dead.

An apple and an emo girl fall from the same height in a tree. Which one hits the ground first? The apple, cuz the noose stops her.

What do you call an orphan you put into a volcano with a wheelchair?

Hot Wheels.

How do you help a rape victim on a diet lose 7 pounds?

Kill her afterwards.

Why is Paul Walker a walker?

To let people know he isn't a driver.

How did Stephen Hawking die?

He hit Alt+F4.

I killed myself, then woke up.

What did the chicken say after he died? Nothing.

What is the difference between you and me? I have parents and yours left...

My wife and I went to the bar to get a drink, but 2 mins later, I see her dead on the ground. I guess she couldn't see the bottle flying at her face. Then I laughed and went home.

You see a cat, it's dead, you are dead.

My grandpa died to ligma.

Ligma balls lol.

I killed a homeless dude, now she's at the funeral home. 😭💔

What do you call a car on the side of the road, lit up and ablaze?

Paul Walker's death.

That's why your grandma 6 ft deep, feet!

How do Ephippians celebrate their kids' first birthday?

Put a flower on their gravestone.