Death jokes
Girl: Can we visit Grandma this weekend?
Mother: Sure.
Five-year-old: Look mommy! Two people and they're wearing rope necklaces!
A person walks into the bar and said, "Hey barman, get my son a drink and tell him his dad is dead."
Who said that?
They laughed at my crayon drawing.
I laughed at their chalk outline.
How do you know your baby is dead?
It stopped screaming after not feeding the bastard for a month.
What did the skeleton say to the other skeleton? "I've got a bone to pick with you!"
That was a real rib tickler. I've got a skele-TON more of the skele-PUNS!
I think I know why Stephen Hawking died, he pressed Alt+F4.
Hitler is amazing; he's dead but still alive because he did Nazi death coming. It never happened.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side!
What's the difference between an orphan dying and a bag of groceries being dropped?
While most agree that both are unfortunate, people actually care when they drop their groceries.
Your mom should show you your real home. The trash!
If death was an option for a look, you could be the first.
My dad died lol.
The cat ran across the road when the car swerved. It killed a bear that killed a dog that killed a squirrel that killed a nut. The cat survived it all. The cat killed the squirrel and the bear with the car...
The cat still died, why?
It had a Catastrophic Catcident.
The kid that died is cut in half, and you see the next trap. It looks like a giant pit that you have to jump over, and you clear it, but you feel something on your back, and you realize that there is a spike that comes up when you jump over. You see the other contestant jump over. You try to warn them to not step over because they would get stabbed, but they ignore you and then get hit by the spike. The next obstacle is a wall that slams on a wall. You wait until the wall closes, and you quickly run through. The next person runs through, and they get to live.
Sorry, this is small. This is also a part two.
Why are graveyards so noisy?
Because of all the coffin!
What is the difference between a bag of dead babies and a Lamborghini?
I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage. :)
Aj died in a bar.
The end.
Why did Paul Walker cross the road?
Because he wasn’t wearing his seat belt.
I had the worst day of my life. My 13 year old ex got killed and I got fired from my job as a police guard. Did I mention that we were in Syria?
How does Helen Keller smell?
Pretty bad, she's dead!
Jesus told me if I believed I would live for eternity. I believed, but at 97 I died...
I think Jesus is broken.