Death Jokes

Stephen Hawking died because he got hit by a RAM.

Two tourists climb a mountain that utters certain doom.

One tourist falls down. The tourist that's still on the mountain says, "You ok down there?"

The other tourist says, "Can't I just rest in peace?!"

(l=====8

How are an emo kid and a hanging child the same?

Depends on who's hanging.

How can you tell when a female became a rape victim? She crossed herself out, hanging by with a Carlton dry.

Why is the skeleton sad and alone?

Because he is with nobody.

How did Stephen Hawking die?

He traveled too far from the outlet.

What do you call the most famous skeleton detective?

Sherlock Bones!

What were Stephen Hawking's last words?

The Windows XP log out sound.

Where does a suicide bomber go when he dies?

Everywhere.

Why didn't the skeleton go to the party?

Because he was arrested on suspicion of murder.

Kobe likes his shoes like the way he died.

Air.

How do make an adult cry?

Stab him 10000 times until the floors are red with human blood.

During the election campaign of 2012, we heard about Obama, but we thought they said Osama. So I told my friend, "Grab his gun and let's have some fun." So during one of Obama's campaigns, we both shot him to death, which lasted a while.

Then my friend said, "Let's go get piss drunk at Mavericks bar." Then on TV they talked about Obama's death, and everybody but 2 guys cheered. Then guess what, we loaded our guns and lit those 2 guys up like we did to Obama.

Bullets.

I will tell you a story. There was a fruit named Pear who was named Dyck. He one day met his friend Carrot, who was later killed after being stuck into some girl's vagina.

Pear then became very sadistic and no one loved him, and he became mentally fruit-pressed. One day he met a Banana named Harvey Weinstein, and they got married and had children who were all named Minion. Eventually, the rest of his family died, and Pear was left slowly rotting away. His last words were, "I have finally 'peared' the consequences of all my actions."