Death jokes
I was looking forward to some toast...
So I took the toaster in the bath with me.
Why can’t orphans have a horse?
Because they run away like their mum did.
My dog died.
A man walked into a fleshlight and died.
The person I hate: Omg, my mom and dad just died.
Me: Omg, I am so sorry, don't worry.
The person I hate: I have a boyfriend.
Me: Well, I have a mom and dad.
The person I hate: Rood.
Me: Shut up.
What is a box called when a cough dies in it?
A coffin.
POV: Your grandma is on life support. I would unplug her life support to charge my third phone.
Are you a rope? Cause I'm tryna put you around my neck 😏
I knew a girl that died from having phone sex... He died of hearing aids.
Why did the dick suck my ass? They died.
Why did Stephen Hawking die? Because he's slightly ginger.
My wife said, "Why oh why have you ordered carpet, our house is lovely?"
Thankfully the carpet was put to good use in the end, no more stupid comments coming from a rolled up Emily in the bottom of the ocean!
An apple and an emo kid fell from a tree, which one hit the ground?
The apple, because the rope caught the emo kid.
Why don't orphans play Minecraft?
Because Technoblade is on the platform.
What's a baby orphan's favorite joke?
"When am I gonna see my parents?"
Lmao.
What happens when Stephen Hawking dies? Windows plays the shutdown music.
He's dead.
What did the beachgoers in North Carolina say when there was a tsunami?
Nothing, they died.
You know what would be the best last thing to say before you die? "No, you certainly can't." JFK's assassin certainly can!
Don't you find it ironic that Kobe Bryant bounced his helicopter off the ground like a basketball?