Death jokes

When the school shooter runs out of ammo: K a l m.

When he grabs a full mag: P a n i k.

When he looks back and doesn't see you, but you're hiding in one of the classrooms: K a l m.

When the autistic kid's Sketchers light up: P A N I K.

I would tell a Paul Walker joke, but it would crash and burn.

Hang in there, ya emo bastards! Remember, you could always be dead. Oh, too soon?

No wonder they wanna die so much. I'd wanna die too if I was a freak who listens to Black Veil Brides!

Anybody got a knife? I mean, an emo dildo?

Q: What do you call a cat living with a vet? A: A dead, shrivelled up cat on her death bed that is attached to their owner.

Isn't It Purrfect!

At an orphan's funeral, you say, "Your dad came back."

1) Did you hear the one about the school shooting? Actually, I better not... You wouldn't understand, it's aimed more towards a younger audience.

2) 6 was scared cuz 7 8 9, so why was 10 scared? Because it was in between 9/11.

3) 10 dead babies.

I lost $10,000, so I killed my piggy bank, so I get a real pig and money which my money is fake, but the janitor said it is real, so I killed myself and turned into a real human.

I can’t wait for collage....

5 min later, ight I’m gonna go kill myself.

I would tell a joke, but I’m sad my dad died in 9/11. He’s the greatest pilot that went down with the Twin Towers.

A man came up to a girl about to jump off a cliff. The man said, "Why?" She then replies, "There are many monsters in this world, and I am one of them."

Someone on here said it previously:

My fondest childhood memory was building sandcastles with my grandfather. That is until my mom took the urn away from me.

Stephen Hawking is ALIVE!

How Stephen Hawking died: he drove too far away from the wall and the cord got unplugged.

He died because he rolled too far away from the wall outlet and got unplugged.

What's the difference between 13 dead babies and a skeleton?

There aren't any, there's 13 skeletons in my closet.

How did Sally die?

She got shot.

Stephen Hawking didn't die, he got sucked up by the black hole then got sent to the large charger in the sky.

How did they know that Princess Diana had dandruff?

They found her Head and Shoulders in the glove box.

He went too far away from the wall, and he got unplugged.

How did the chicken get to the other side? He crossed the road and didn't make it.