Death jokes

What does Batman have that Superman doesn't?

The ability to visit his biological parents' grave.

One of my friends got a haircut, and everyone giggled and bullied him... I didn’t, I died of laughter 😂

At weddings my mom always tells me I’m next. So I say the same to her, at funerals.

My friend: I want to cut myself.

Me: No, don’t do that. *hands lighter* Do this instead.

What can Miles Morales do that Spiderman can't?

Hug his parents.

Bored? Run over an orphan with your car! What are they going to do, tell their nonexistent parents?

Beethoven composed his whole life.

What did he do in the afterlife? He decomposed! Har har har har har har.

There once was a man who beat his wife, And before he even knew it, he ended her life. His hands were a mess, all red and bloody, He had to find somewhere to hide the body.

Orphan: Hey, where's the milk?

Dad: . . .

Your mama is so stupid, her phone died, so she buried it in the backyard!

When Hitler killed himself, he shot himself twice. The first one was Operation Barbarossa, and the second one was his death.

I know everything about Walt Disney! How he died, how his mom and dad died, how his kids died, when he was born, where he was born, and how he was born. 😏

Why drink water and not bleach?

I just found out, these jokes are about dead people.

I left my boots on in the river, and I drowned.

What does it mean when there is a man in your bed, gasping for breath and saying your name?

It just means that you didn't hold the pillow down long enough.

One day, a class of children were killed in a bus accident, but only some survived. One was praying that he would survive, and the other said, "First time?"

What's worse than 100 dead babies in a skip?

The one that's still alive in the middle trying to eat its way out.

Queen Elizabeth died a couple weeks ago. I'm still trying to find the reboot catd.

How do you make an emo jump?

A bridge.