Death jokes
Why did Technoblade die?
Because God wished him dead for all the orphans he made fun of.
My mom said the only way to cure depression is to do what she does. She's dead.
Why did I kill?
Because I'm dumb.
What did the Emo and the Orphan have in common?
They both hang with the trees.
What takes knowledge to do and also takes knowledge away?
Looking down the barrel and pulling the trigger. 😂
Technoblade was the second worst thing that happened to orphans.
Guys, they weren’t always orphans!
When the school shooter kills five people, and the autistic kid yells, "Heroes never die!"
What's one thing you should never ask a suicidal person? "Are you okay?" because the next day they'll either be dead or have a lot more cuts than they started with.
To those who are dead now, was it fun?
Gwen, we can chat in 2 months. My aunt just died from COVID, and it is taking forever for us to get there to California. I love you, your boyfriend, Prince!
The only reason he died was because Virgin Media wifi crashed.
Why can't you fool an aborted baby?
Because it wasn't born yesterday.
Who's the closest family member to Paul Walker?
Answer: The tree.
I heard Microsoft got charged, why?
They couldn’t reboot Stephen Hawking.
When Stephen Hawking died, he saw the stairway to Heaven.
He thought to himself, "Oh God, this is awkward!"
I love my family when they're buried alive.
What was the last thing that went through JFK's mind? A bullet.
When Lexa took Clarke out on a date, she walked past the candle shop, and she bought all the candles. After the date, they went back to the Heda's (Commander's) Tower, which is basically a huge candle. "All I wanna do is Candle you!"
I help suicidal people.
BTW verb not adjective.
One day whilst walking up a hill, Jack saw a prostitute named Jill. Jill was dressed in kinky, leather gear that made Jack really, really horny.
Jack, who hadn't stuck it in for a few weeks, was keen to ask this sexy young maiden how much she would charge. "1 buck for a suck, 2 buck for a fuck," she said as she stroked his ever-hardening one-eyed snake.
"Yeah, I'll have both of them," said Jack, who was about to cum in his trousers. So Jill led Jack to behind the well, and they sucked and fucked for an hour. After that, they both contracted AIDS and died of it, as they did not see a doctor. THE END
There are three people on an island. One dies, and the second guy goes to bury them. He comes back with deer meat. The first guy eats it, but the second guy refuses the meal.
When the men return to the mainland, they part ways. The first man goes to eat the deer again at a local restaurant. He takes one bite, then jumps off a bridge.
In heaven, an angel asks him why.
“Well you see,” he answered, “that man was a tribal cannibal. Delicious in my wife’s meat, though.”