Death jokes
R.I.P. on a tombstone normally means "Rest In Peace"; however, in Madeleine McCann's case, it means "Raped In Portugal".
How do you bury a prostitute?
In a Y-shaped coffin.
Why did Stephen Hawking die? Because he got bummed too hard in the shower.
Luckily, his funeral was a closed casket, sorry, his car blew a gasket.
What's red and white and lives in a blender?
A baby.
Why do Orphans sleep in a double bed?
Because their parents can't!
Your mom so ugly that Paul Walker died.
I once saw a noose joke.
I wanna know how to make one :D
What do you call a bullet head?
JFK.
One random YouTube comment in 2018: "Soon, a virus will come to Earth."
A year later: "Pahahahahah that comment is fake lmaoooo ahahahha!"
Another year later: "Time to die a painful death."
Another year later: "God has come with the cure!"
Let's stop this, it's not funny. Oh wait, the orphans are all gone with nobody. 😂
What's the difference between Rorochan and skydivers?
One does it for the cash, the other for the views.
My ex died in an anchorage accident.
She always was a sleeping hooker.
I hate how funerals are always at 9 a.m. -- I'm not really a mourning person.
What do alcoholics and necrophiliacs have in common?
They both like cracking open a cold one.
Where did Lucy go in the bombing... Everywhere.
Why are skeletons not funny? Because they have no humor. 🤣
Why did the hedgehog cross the road?
To get to the other side (suicide).
Why did the second hedgehog cross the road?
To see his flatmate.
I’ll always remember my father’s last words: “I’m gonna sleep for a little.”
I went to a funeral to revive my dead grandmother with the Reboot Card, but my family was upset!