Death jokes
A man found out that he was going to die.
A German doctor comes in and says "you have 10 more". The man yells out "10 WHAT!! DAYS!!!! WEEKS!!!". And the doctor says "No seconds". And the man says "9 SECONDS!!!" And the doctor says "Nein. Ten seconds". He asked "How many seconds do I have to live 10, 9 , or...?"
Then he died and learned how to say no in German....
I heard Microsoft got charged, why?
They couldn’t reboot Stephen Hawking.
When Stephen Hawking died, he saw the stairway to Heaven.
He thought to himself, "Oh God, this is awkward!"
I love my family when they're buried alive.
The only reason he died was because Virgin Media wifi crashed.
Why can't you fool an aborted baby?
Because it wasn't born yesterday.
Who's the closest family member to Paul Walker?
Answer: The tree.
Why did Technoblade die?
Because God wished him dead for all the orphans he made fun of.
My mom said the only way to cure depression is to do what she does. She's dead.
Hang in there, ya emo bastards! Remember, you could always be dead. Oh, too soon?
No wonder they wanna die so much. I'd wanna die too if I was a freak who listens to Black Veil Brides!
Anybody got a knife? I mean, an emo dildo?
Why did I kill?
Because I'm dumb.
What did the Emo and the Orphan have in common?
They both hang with the trees.
Technoblade was the second worst thing that happened to orphans.
Guys, they weren’t always orphans!
What takes knowledge to do and also takes knowledge away?
Looking down the barrel and pulling the trigger. 😂
Gwen, we can chat in 2 months. My aunt just died from COVID, and it is taking forever for us to get there to California. I love you, your boyfriend, Prince!
When the school shooter kills five people, and the autistic kid yells, "Heroes never die!"
What was the last thing that went through JFK's mind? A bullet.
What's one thing you should never ask a suicidal person? "Are you okay?" because the next day they'll either be dead or have a lot more cuts than they started with.
To those who are dead now, was it fun?
When Lexa took Clarke out on a date, she walked past the candle shop, and she bought all the candles. After the date, they went back to the Heda's (Commander's) Tower, which is basically a huge candle. "All I wanna do is Candle you!"
I help suicidal people.
BTW verb not adjective.