Death jokes
Robin asks Batman what he is getting his parents for Christmas. Batman gets mad, slaps Robin, and runs off crying.
Now you know why Batman Beyond was born when Bruce died. cause of death: suicide
Orphan: I fucked your mom.
Kid: At least mine survived from it.
What's the best way to get ten babies in a bowl?
A blender.
What's the best way to get them out?
A blender.
How did Steven Hawkings die?
His wife tripped over his charging plug when he was at 2% battery.
Why does Doctor Pepper come in a bottle?
His wife died.
The reason he died is that they accidentally flipped the wrong light switch.
How many people do you think are in a graveyard? Hopefully none.
The reason Stephen Hawkings died is probably because he fell off his wheelchair, and he must've pressed shut down by accident.
What is 1 + 1?
They didn’t tell me. Their stomach is upset.
My grandmother said goodnight...
She never said good morning.
"FUCK IT HURTS SO BAD PLEASE SEND AN AMBULANCE I CAN'T BREATHE (I am Paul Walker btw)"
Me: Hi, my name is...
Bro: Hey guys! So who are you?
Me: Hey, stop dude!
Bro: How is it going, bro--
Me: SHUT UP!
Bro: Is that a gun?
Me: *Pointing at bro*
Bro: Dude, I'm...
Me: *BANG* *BANG*
Me: Finally, it's over.
An autistic kid hit me, so I kicked him back and he died.
People tell Kobe to fly high, but when he flew high, he died.
What's the difference between your dad and cancer?
Cancer came back...
If only Karen Carpenter had eaten Mama Cass's sandwich...
The real reason Steven Hawking died is he was drunk and tried to go down a flight of stairs.
"Guess what my wife left in the freezer?"
"Her miscarriage."
Did you hear about the pervert who couldn't decide whether he was into incest or necrophilia?
He killed his mom and then fucked her.
My grandma always told my dad if a bird ever got in your house/truck, someone would die later that exact day.
She found out she had cancer. 11 months later, my grandpa died of a stroke. I hope to see them in heaven. I’d like to meet them. Pls comment good things. I really, really love them, even though I didn’t get to meet them. 😭😭😭