Death jokes

Are you a bullet?

*gets shot*

Penis, neck, rope?

Why am I happy? I'm dead.

Your mom is so fat she won't be in a coffin when she dies. She won't fit in it.

Steven Hawking died. I said, "Why? Did his wheelchair break?"

I will always remember my dad's last words...

Oh wait, I've never heard them.

Why didn't the skeleton follow his dreams? He was too gutless.

What’s the difference between Diana and Casper the ghost?

Casper can go through walls, Diana can't.

Yo mama was so fat, the Earth was flat before they put your mama in a grave.

What were Stephen Hawking's last words?

......

My dad told me "No electronics at the table," so I unplugged my grandma's life support.

What's funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown costume.

A child with cancer says, "Mother, what will I be when I grow up?"

Then the mother says, "Shut up, dick, you have cancer!" Hehehe.

It’s so sad how Stephen Hawking was just rolling too far away from the outlet. RIP :(

What do you call the nun that hates?

For Paul Walker, Mother Teresa.

What's yellow and can't swim? A school bus full of orphans.

Do you know what organ remains warm even after a woman dies?

My penis (or rather my neutron laser priming its firing sequence).

My great uncle died in a concentration camp.

He fell off one of the guard towers.

I have a body count of 7.

This isn't really a joke, but it's true. Your picture for your funeral may have already been taken :)