Death jokes
Genie: You cannot wish for more wishes, immortality, or love.
Man: I wish not to die a virgin.
Genie: I just said no wishing for immortality!
One of my friends named Jill had a drug overdose.
She didn’t have any of that drug after that. For the rest of her life, she acted very high. When she died, it was because of natural causes, not the drug. So this proves that a lethal dose is also a life time supply.
Technoblade never got a wife.
Everyone's had a mind-blowing day before, just ask JFK.
NWA: Straight Outta Compton.
Kobe Bryant: Straight Outta the Helicopter.
I was digging a hole in the garden until I found some coins! I was about to tell my mum when I remembered I was digging a hole in the garden.
Why can’t orphans eat cereal with milk? Cause mummy never gave them some.
People tell Kobe to fly high, but when he flew high, he died.
Kid: But, Mom, I don't want to see Grandma.
Mom: Shut up and keep digging.
"Where exactly are you taking me, doctor?"
"To the morgue."
"What? But I’m not dead yet!"
"And we’re not there yet."
Guys, you shouldn't joke about 9/11.
My great-uncle died that day. Best damn pilot in Iraq.
What's the hardest thing about walking through a field of dead children?
My penis.
One time the dog got bit by a snake, so my dad had to shoot it. My dad said to me, "This is what's going to happen to your little brother." "What little brother?" Exactly.
My dad died in 9/11. He was a great pilot.
My history teacher asked my class what time they would go back to just to see what happened.
I said I'd go back to Hitler's childhood to tell him the lies that he becomes the ruler of the world by starting the Nazis, and leave his death out of the discussion.
THERE IS NO AFTERLIFE.
Which way is quicker to die? Noose or slitting my throat?
I hate double standards. Burn a body at a crematorium, you're "being a respectful friend." Do it at home and you're "destroying evidence." Anybody relate?
I saw an orphan on the street. I said, "Where are your parents?" He cried and said, "My mum and dad died in a car crash!" 😆😆😂😂🤣
What does RIP stand for on Maddie's head stone?
Raped in Portugal!