Death jokes
I love it when cancer hits like a ton of bricks. The best part is when it kills people.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw them.
What’s better than swinging a dead baby in circles over your head with a 5 foot rope?
Stopping it with a shovel.
Jesus has died on the cross to take away our sins. He has all power, but he won’t abuse it. He will help us through tough times. Have you ever felt that feeling in you that something is a bad idea? That’s Jesus. He is the savior and never let anyone say different.
Our Lord will watch us. We will go to Heaven, the promised land, only as long as we believe he’s real and always here. Don’t let anyone speak less and make you disbelieve in our Lord. This is your choice: believe and go to Heaven, or don’t believe and go to Hell, an eternal death. Make a choice.
It's way too soon for Kobe jokes.
They never land well.
What would you do if you were killed?
What keeps an emo kid from hitting the ground?
The rope.
Why did my parents walk to the other side?
...Why?
Why did the man get run over?
Ur mom XD
What did Osama Bin Laden's kids not inherit after his death?
His hide-and-seek skills.
I asked the emo at my school if he got jealous when his phone died.
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?
Tell him to clap until his parents come home.
Why are the Twin Towers actually twins?
Their birth and death date are the same.
I hope death is a woman. That way, she'll never come for me.
My dad said, "Where's Pickles, the family cat?" I said, "I'm sorry to say he's in the sky." He said, "Oh, I see, he passed away." No, I strapped him to 20 fireworks!
I got jealous when my phone died.
What is worse than ten dead babies nailed to a tree? One dead baby nailed to ten trees.
I'll kill a bitch like the policeman did to that white woman. He chopped her up and put her in the woods, the suck fuck.
I’m rather relaxed about death.
From quite an early age, I’ve regarded it as part of the deal, the unwritten guarantee that comes with your birth certificate.
What did COVID say to the American?
Nothing, it just took its breath away...