Death jokes
Why aren't there any closets in southern churches? Closets have coat hangers.
How do you make any salad into a Caesar salad? You stab it 23 times.
Robin asks Batman what he is getting his parents for Christmas. Batman gets mad, slaps Robin, and runs off crying.
Now you know why Batman Beyond was born when Bruce died. cause of death: suicide
When I finished high school, I wanted to take my graduation money and buy myself a motorcycle, but my mom said no.
See, she had a brother who died in a horrible motorcycle accident when he was eighteen, and I could just have his motorcycle.
Guys, stop making jokes about orphan's parents.
Who will be told? Oh wait.
So, a man finds a woman on a train track while he's on his way to a bar, and they had a lot of sex.
When he gets to the bar, he brags about the different sex positions they used, and one of the guys says, "Oh, did you do head?"
He responded with, "No, I couldn't find the head."
Hang in there, ya emo bastards! Remember, you could always be dead. Oh, too soon?
No wonder they wanna die so much. I'd wanna die too if I was a freak who listens to Black Veil Brides!
Anybody got a knife? I mean, an emo dildo?
Q: What did one snake say to the other?
A: Nothing because they are both dead.
Technoblade!
Please tell me you understand this...
A man dies and goes to heaven. When he gets there, he sees an angel standing in the center of a room, surrounded by clocks. The man goes over to the angel and says, "What are these clocks for?" The angel looks at him. "These are lie clocks," the angel says, "every time someone lies, it ticks once. Mother Teresa never lied, so hers is at noon, and Honest Abe only lied twice." The man asks, "Where is Bill Clinton's clock?" The angel smiles, then points up at the fan.
I asked my girlfriend if she wanted to join my family tree... She dropped the rope and ran.
What was Stephen Hawking's last message before he died: "Server shutting down."
People named Joey are autistic and need to die fatty.
Kurt Cobain didn't mean to kill himself. He was just so high he thought the shotgun was a bong.
His lyrics are so ironic but so true. "I'm not coming back". "I swear I don't have a gun."
How do you prevent a physics teacher from drowning? Shoot her before she touches the water.
Health commercials be like:
Serious side effects can cause:
Nausea, diarrhea, vomiting, chills, fever, cancer, diabetes, AIDS, chlamydia, lupus, Ebola, polio, leprosy, pulmonary edema, heart attack, heart failure, yellow fever, but worst of all, DEATH!
Hey, yesterday I played with my sister. When I woke up, she was gone.
Why'd the orphan cross the road? He was told his parents were on the other side.
Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?
Because he died.
Mufasa is proof that cats don't always land on their feet.