Death jokes
What is the difference between a Lamborghini and a dead body?
I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.
A) Why don't orphans play Minecraft Online?
Q) Because Technoblade will get their I.P. address and cum to their houses!
Fastest story readers are 9/11 victims.
They went through 87 stories in 7 seconds.
I had a friend who got shot in the head.
Guess you could say he was...
Blown Away!
I killed a homeless dude, now he's at funeral home 😭💔
She asked me if I was hung like a horse, but I said no.
I'm hung like a person who wants to die, but then the rope broke.
I'm gonna cut my life off.
A leaf and an emo kid fall from a tree, who hits the ground first? The leaf, because the rope stopped the emo kid.
Are you a toaster? Because I want to take a bath with you.
Where did Joe go after getting lost on the mine field?
Everywhere.
What does Buzz Lightyear and an orphan's parents have in common?
They go to infinity and beyond.
When it's not just a phase and you kill yourself to prove it.
What does an abortion joke and a fetus have in common... The joke never gets old, and neither does the kid.
Orphans: Where are my parents?
Random person: In the bed.
I will always remember my grandpa's last words. "Shit, the ladder is falling!"
A man wakes from a coma. His wife changes out of her black clothes and, irritated, remarks, “I really cannot depend on you in anything, can I!”
What died on 9/11? 2,996 people.
R.I.P. Queen Elizabeth II.
My first thought when I read Betty Pear's obituary was, "Thank God for Alzheimer's!"
What is Meat Loaf's new name now that he has passed?
Ground beef.