Death jokes
What does an emo kid and an apple have in common?
They both are hanging.
What did they do with his body when he died?
They made him into Lego so kids can play with him for once.
My granddad died in Auschwitz in WW2...
He fell from a tower.
Why did the cowboy die with his boots on??
He didn’t want to stub his toe when he kicked da bucket 😂🤣👌🏻👌🏻.. knee slapper
What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Porsche?
I don't have a Porsche in the garage.
R.I.P. Queen Elizabeth II.
Two guys are captured by native Chinese. They give them two choices: 1. Death. 2. 他妈的
The first guy: What's 他妈的?
The Chinese: Fucking.
The first guy chooses death.
Second guy to himself: Well, I'll let these sick fucks fuck me. At least I'll be alive...
The Chinese: Come on, we don't have all day.
Second guy: I choose 他妈的.
The Chinese: Ok, 他妈的 to the death!
The last thing that went through Abe Lincoln's head was a bullet.
What's the difference between a dead baby and a slice of pizza?
A dead baby can't feed a family.
What's Technoblade's actual Zodiac Sign?
Cancer!
People say that they miss xxxtentacion, like the bullet didn’t.
The other day while I was going down on my grandma, I thought I tasted a little horse semen and I got to wondering if maybe that’s what killed her!
911 what's your emergency?
Me: Officer, my girlfriend is dead!
Operator: What happened!?
Me: She bit the tip.
Part 1: Two men were walking down the way when the third one came.
Part 2: Two men were walking down the way when the third one came.
Part 3: Two men were walking down the way when the third one came.
Part 4: Guess what... two men were walking down the way when the second one fell in the sewers and died... The first one was lonely.
Why doesn't Batman have super vision?
His parents died.
What's the difference between a baby and a tire swing?
A tire swing doesn't die when you hang it from a tree.
Number 1 ventriloquist dies at age 76, will be mist.
Hey mum, why do people keep suddenly dying in our family?
Mum?
Mum?
Muuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuum!
Haha, dead.
Q: What's 8 inches and makes my wife scream when I put it in her mouth?
A: Her dead fetus.