Death jokes
"Racecar" spelled backwards is "racecar," but "racecar" sideways is how Paul Walker died.
I wish I was a policeman, 'cause then I would actually have a gun to shoot myself with.
The other day my mom called me a retard.
I'm now an orphan.
What is white, black, and red and can't fit through a revolving door?
A nun with a spear through her head!
What is the difference between Princess Diana and my laptop?
When my laptop crashes, I give a s**t.
How many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Well, there are 69 in my basement, and it's still dark.
What's the difference between cancer and me?
My dad didn't beat cancer... Whelp, I guess I stole that one.
When we die we get sent to heaven, but when Stephen Hawking died, he was sent to the cloud.
Pilot: This is my last flight, everyone.
Passengers: *Clap*
Pilot: I became a pilot for one reason: To conquer my greatest fear.
Flight Attendant: And what is that?
Pilot: Dying alone. *speeds up towards Twin Towers*
Also the Pilot: Now who is ready to play some Jen---
The orphans all died!!!
Oh wait, no one cares...
Their parents are all dead anyway. We are just making them happier. They get to join their parents in hell.
Why don't a gun and an orphan have anything in common? The gun is actually useful.
The 2nd worst thing that happened to an orphan was finding out the milk man passed.
How did Technoblade actually die?
He got stabbed!
Why did the child die? To see God, our father.
Why did Techno die?
They broke his bed.
Why can’t Helen Keller drive?
It’s because she’s dead.
When the school shooter makes the emo kid hang himself and the autistic kid thinks it's a piñata: 🤪🏏
What's the difference between Paul Walker and a computer?
I give a fuck when my computer crashes.
What starts with "M" and ends in "arrige" and is a man's favorite thing?
Miscarriage, this joke never gets old, just like the baby.
Why can’t orphans have sex, my friends? Why? They have none to call daddy.