Death jokes
Why did no one turn up to John's funeral?
Because Sally wrote the invitations!
What do you call someone who gets killed at 12 o'clock on New Year's? First kill of the match.
Why are orphans so bad at learning about ancient Egypt? They don't know what mummies are.
Why did the orphan cross the road?
To reunite with his parents.
Why did the emo kid try [to] high five the tree?
So it can hang him.
If you give a man a match, he is warm for the night, but if you light a man on fire, he will be warm for the rest of his life. :)
My grandfather says Iโm too reliant on technology. I call him a hypocrite and unplug his life support. ๐๐๐ฅ๐
I would tell a Koby joke...
But it would just crash and burn.
What do you call an orphan living with ghosts?
"Him and his dead family." :(
It hasn't been the same since Kobe died. I can't say "Kobe" anymore when going to shoot a shot. Now I have to say, "Kobe crash!"
I would make a joke about Kobe, but I don't think it would fly very well.
This 15-year-old girl wanted a cross on her room with a long nail on the end over her bed. Unfortunately, it killed her dad because it fell off the wall.
(Do you get the joke?)
(Her dad was on her, and it fell and killed him.)
While writing my suicide note, I got a paper cut... itโs a start.
I would say something funny, but I would have to dig someone up.
My therapist said to try having a different outlook on life.
I agree. I should have a different outlook on life. Preferably from underground.
What do you call it when you're dead because of that one drink in Panera Bread? Panera dead.
Whatโs the difference between the baby I just stabbed and Isaac Newton?
Isaac Newton died a virgin.
If a baby dies in the womb, is it considered suicide?
I had a friend who got shot in the head.
Guess you could say he was...
Blown Away!
If at first you don't succeed, oh well, so much for skydiving.