What do you call an orphan living with ghosts?
"Him and his dead family." :(
Death Jokes
It hasn't been the same since Kobe died. I can't say "Kobe" anymore when going to shoot a shot. Now I have to say, "Kobe crash!"
I would make a joke about Kobe, but I don't think it would fly very well.
This 15-year-old girl wanted a cross on her room with a long nail on the end over her bed. Unfortunately, it killed her dad because it fell off the wall.
(Do you get the joke?)
(Her dad was on her, and it fell and killed him.)
While writing my suicide note, I got a paper cut... it’s a start.
I would say something funny, but I would have to dig someone up.
My therapist said to try having a different outlook on life.
I agree. I should have a different outlook on life. Preferably from underground.
What do you call it when you're dead because of that one drink in Panera Bread? Panera dead.
What’s the difference between the baby I just stabbed and Isaac Newton?
Isaac Newton died a virgin.
If a baby dies in the womb, is it considered suicide?
I had a friend who got shot in the head.
Guess you could say he was...
Blown Away!
If at first you don't succeed, oh well, so much for skydiving.
Roses are red, violets are blue, if you play Fortnite, then R.I.P. you.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get hit by a bus.
What does RIP stand for on Maddie's head stone?
Raped in Portugal!
I'll turn ya nan into bonemeal.
Roses are blood red, violets are twilight-hued oh how I wish I was dead so that I no longer have to brood.
Death would be a reprieve as I would no longer have to be true, and I would no longer have to be around any of you.
Luigi was dying and had two sons. Bruno was handsome, but Alberto was ugly.
He said, "Maria, tell me, is Alberto my son?"
"Yes, Luigi," his wife said, and he died happily.
Wife said, "Thank God he didn’t ask about the other one!"
Stephen only died because his wife tripped over the power cord.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
It doesn't matter, he's dead.
