Death jokes

I was outside digging a six-foot hole when I found a treasure box with jewels and shiny gems! I almost went inside to tell my wife, then I remembered why I was digging the hole.

Hello, it is the suicide line. Just keep hanging.

Q: Mummy, how do most stars die?

A: From an overdose.

What do you do when your cat's dead?

Play with the neighbor's pussy instead.

I have a joke about suicide, but I’ll just let it hang.

What is common with dark humor and unvaccinated kids?

Neither do ever grow old.

If being sexy were a crime, you better lock me up.

Not because I'm sexy, but because I have 5 dead children in my basement.

What do you call a kid laying down in the classroom? Kill confirmed.

What do you call three kids laying down in the classroom? Kill streak.

I don’t know why people don’t say "Cobain," because I’m pretty sure Kurt Cobain didn’t miss his last shot like Kobe did.

What's hard about walking through a bunch of dead babies?

My dick.

People always often say to someone who are thinking about suicide that's the easy way out. Don't give up! All I say is I'm not giving up, just I'm giving in, and does it really seem like it's the easiest way out? I don't think so, it's probably the hardest if you ask me, or I would have done it already, but someone's got to do it.

One day, there are friends having fun.

Hours later, one of the friends, Alice, wanted to leave and said, "Cya guys, I'm just gonna hang in the tree and have some fresh air."

And they all agree.

Hours go by, and the group of friends are ready to go home, but then they see a tree in the distance that looks like someone is hanging on the tree with a tight rope.

What sound does a baby make when you put it in a blender? I don’t know. I was too busy wanking.

My nan coughed and threw up a lung. Now she is dead.

I want to die.

What's the difference between a car and a pile of dead babies?

I don't have a car in my garage.

Man: Did you know pidgins die after having sex?

Woman: No, really?

Man: Well, the one I fucked did...

My dad died, so I dug his grave. I was asked why I murdered him. I answered, "Guess we'll never know who did it because he dug his own grave." My father was William Afton.

How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? Depends, how hard can you throw them?

What happens when Steven Hawking dies?

Take his iPad to Cash Converters.