Death jokes
What is my most popular side of myself?
Suicide.
What’s the difference between a leaf and an emo kid falling out of a tree? The leaf reaches the ground.
Me: Hey Siri, did you know Candice died?
Siri: Yes, I was informed she died from sugondese.
Me: What is that?
Siri: Sugondese nuts.
What does Diana stand for?
Died In A Nasty Accident.
Man with cancer: How much time do I have left?
Doctor: Ten.
Man: Weeks? Months? Days?
Doctor: Nine, eight, seven...
I am going to be a ghost for Halloween. I actually want to be a ghost every day, because at least I'd be dead.
Me: Knock knock.
My Grandma: Who’s there?
Me: Interrupting cow.
My Grandma: Interrupting c-
[Dies from heart attack]
Guys, stop making funny jokes of orphans. What, their parents are gonna get mad? Oh wait, continue.
If an orphan has a nightmare, they should run to their parents. Oh wait!
What kills you?
Suicide.
When I die, I’ll die in a trash can.
Fastest story readers are 9/11 victims.
They went through 87 stories in 7 seconds.
What’s the best cure for not wanting to go to work?
Suicide.
What do parents and dark humor have in common? Some get it, and some don't.
I heard this was a really popular funeral home. People are dying to get in.
I saw a kid sitting on the curb and I asked him, "Are you an orphan?"
He said, "Yeah, what gave me away?" "You're parents did."
Yo mama is so fat that a whole forest grew on her, but it was sad because she really smells, so the forest died.
What's the difference between a dad and an Emo?
They both don't last a while.
Do you ever consider during the cremation that the meat is well done?
Why did the orphan dig six feet under?
To find his parents.