Death jokes
To start off this Christmas season, I'ma make a list of what I want, then I'ma make plans with my family, then to start off my decorations, I'ma start with the first ornament and hang myself.
An emo and a leaf fall out of a tree. Which hits the ground first? The leaf. The rope stopped the emo.
Fastest story readers are 9/11 victims.
They went through 87 stories in 7 seconds.
The difference between George Floyd and Kobe Bryant is Kobe got air.
Man with cancer: How much time do I have left?
Doctor: Ten.
Man: Weeks? Months? Days?
Doctor: Nine, eight, seven...
What’s the best cure for not wanting to go to work?
Suicide.
What do parents and dark humor have in common? Some get it, and some don't.
What kills you?
Suicide.
Me testing if there is fall damage in real life (falls off of a cliff, uses water bucket trick) dies.
I am going to be a ghost for Halloween. I actually want to be a ghost every day, because at least I'd be dead.
A leaf and an emo fell off a cliff, who landed first? The leaf, because the rope stopped the emo.
What's the difference between three dead babies and a Ferrari?
I don't own a Ferrari.
Levon Aronian's wife died in a car crash. That's wheelie unfortunate.
I knew this one guy who liked to swim with the fishes, then the mob got a hold of 'em...
Twinkle, twinkle, there’s a car Coming like a shooting star.
I will stand in the way. I will not be seen again. Are you happy I am dead? Now you made it to the end.
What's the difference between a dad and an Emo?
They both don't last a while.
Yo mama is so fat that a whole forest grew on her, but it was sad because she really smells, so the forest died.
If there was a zombie, you would not die because you have no brain.
What does Diana stand for?
Died In A Nasty Accident.
If an orphan has a nightmare, they should run to their parents. Oh wait!