Death jokes

Why did the orphan dig six feet under?

To find his parents.

Yo mama is so fat that a whole forest grew on her, but it was sad because she really smells, so the forest died.

I could be red, I could be orange, I could be yellow, I could be green, I could be blue, I could be purple, but I would be dead.

How do you know someone is going to die?

He can't stop coughing. (coffin)

I saw a kid sitting on the curb and I asked him, "Are you an orphan?"

He said, "Yeah, what gave me away?" "You're parents did."

What do you call Darth Vader when he dies?

A black alien.

What does a cannibal ask for when leaving a restaurant?

"Can I have a bodybag?"

Let's say I was immortal. No matter what I did, I would be alive. But, the catch is I’m the least flexible and least strong person in the world.

Now, I get my head chopped off. What would I do? I would roll over to my headless body and figure out what it's like to suck my own dick.

A man and a boy were walking through a dark forest. The boy said, “I’m scared.” The man said, “Why are you scared? I’m the one who’s going to leave these woods alone.”

Before my grandad died, he whispered to me, "Is your uncle still in the basement?" I said he has died. Oh, my grandad said, "I will lock him in heaven's basement."

WARNING: READ THIS JOKE ALOUD!

Was it the pills that stopped his coughing, or was it the coffin they carried him off in?

Welcome to David's Morgue, you stab 'em, we slab 'em!

Why did Sally drop her ice cream?

Because she got hit by a bus.

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Not Sally.

What's the difference between three dead babies and a Ferrari?

I don't own a Ferrari.

I'll never forget my aunt's last words before she died: "Can you stop shaking the ladder, please?"

Why do you put a baby into a blender feet first?

So you can see the look on its face...

Cremation: Your last chance for a smoking hot body.

Man: Doctor, where are you taking me?

Doctor: To the morgue.

Man: But I’m not dead yet.

Doctor: Are we there yet?

I was outside digging a six-foot hole when I found a treasure box with jewels and shiny gems! I almost went inside to tell my wife, then I remembered why I was digging the hole.

Why didn't the skeleton go to the party?

Because he had "no-body" to go with.