Death jokes
Yo mama is so ugly that when Santa came to the house and saw a picture of her, he died.
Why didn’t the emo attend her grandma’s funeral?
She thought her grandma was trying to flex.
How are corpses like pools?
Once you get in, it's only cold for like a minute.
What do you get when you die in Undertale and go to Temmie Village?
DeterMIENATION
What is a necrophiliac's safe word?
"I'm alive!"
Who is not hungry in Africa?
A dead person.
What’s the best thing about making out with dead girls?
They can’t say no.
How do you know when a fat person stops eating? You read about it in the obituary.
What's a suicidal person's favorite type of bath bomb?
A toaster.
What do you do after fucking the loosest pussy ever?
Close the casket.
My girlfriend went to Tokyo, and she died in the tsunami.
Since I was sad, my friend told me, "Don't worry, there's plenty more in the ocean."
I wish death was in the form of a woman.
That way, it would never come for me.
What do I and a brand new chandelier have in common?
One of these days, we’re both gonna be hanging from the ceiling.
We better stop telling orphan jokes because their parents will get mad. Oh... wait... never mind.
My crush rejected me 2 years ago, and I still have never moved on. I'll be over her when a train is over me.
Paul Walker died Fast and Furious.
Most orphans were born on the highway. It’s where most accidents [happen].
Teacher: I was an orphan as a kid.
Students: Damn!
Teacher: Is anyone missing?
Students: Your parents!
What did Stephen Hawking see before he died?
The blue screen of death.
Genie: You cannot wish for more wishes, immortality, or love.
Man: I wish not to die a virgin.
Genie: I just said no wishing for immortality!