Death jokes
I harvested indigo to make dye. I made the dye. I made a number dye. I dyed the dye. I rolled the dye. It made me die.
What's Michael Jackson's favorite hobby?
Nothing because he's dead.
My friend came over to my house. He asked where my girlfriend was, and I told him she is in the garden.
He said, "That's weird, I didn't see her." I said, "You have to dig a little."
Why are skeletons not funny? Because they have no humor. 🤣
So my depressed friend wanted to high-five the tree by the cemetery.
The tree left him hanging though.
Memes
How do you know the hooker killed herself?
She sniffed the line off the dresser you said not to touch.
I saw a helicopter on January 26, 2020. Then Kobe was on the news.
Say this when you answer a spam call...
"Hi, welcome to Bob's Taco Shack and Funeral Home, where yesterday's grief is today's beef."
What’s Queen Elizabeth’s pickup line?
You’re breathtaking!
Why do you think after death the angel says do not be afraid?
Search up biblically accurate angels.
I'm surprised that the tree is still standing when my emo friend is hanging from it.
What's worse than a dead baby?
A pile of dead babies.
What's worse than that?
One's alive at the bottom.
What's even worse than THAT?
It eats it's way out.
Wait it gets worse...
It goes back for seconds.
Just one more I swear...
It fucks one of it's siblings at the bottom.
How did 10 die?
Because it was in between 9 and 11.
Suicide really isn't something to joke about, unless it's hanging yourself.
It's a really quicker way to die, and less blood spilled for your mother to clean up.
What's Kobe's favorite song?
"Helicopter Helicopter"
I asked the emo kid how it was hanging. He didn't reply because the rope was too tight.
What sound did Stephen Hawking make when he died? Power off.
What will fall faster, an emo or an apple?
An apple, because the emo would get caught on the rope.
Cremation is my only hope for a hot, smoking body.
Corpses aren’t funny—they’re dead serious.