Death jokes
"Rock-a-bye baby on the treetop, When the wind blows, the baby will drop. Then the baby will lay on the ground, Not moving a muscle, not making a sound."
What do you call the American healthcare plan for poor people?
Death.
What did the parents say to the orphan? "Where are your parents?"
Oh... wait.
My dad died in 9/11, and that was the second worst thing that happened to me with a plane, next to Soul Plane.
Orphans: Where are my parents?
Random person: In the bed.
What happened when the man died? Yes.
Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? He had no balls to do it.
I wasn't close to my dad when he died.
Which was good, he died to a landmine.
Al Fayed’s son arrives at heaven’s gates and sees his driver.
He shouts “you stupid cunt!”
The driver says, “Watch, Boss?”
Dodi replies...:
“I said I WANT TO FUCK DI IN THE TUNNEL NOT FUCKING DIE IN THE TUNNEL!”
What will die immediately instead of having to suffer torture on the spike of a Judas cradle? A Geometry Dash icon.
I harvested indigo to make dye. I made the dye. I made a number dye. I dyed the dye. I rolled the dye. It made me die.
What's Michael Jackson's favorite hobby?
Nothing because he's dead.
My friend came over to my house. He asked where my girlfriend was, and I told him she is in the garden.
He said, "That's weird, I didn't see her." I said, "You have to dig a little."
You're at a funeral. Your mum says be quiet, so you snigger at the body and say, "Bye forever, bitch."
There are times I miss you, that I wish I could remember where I hid your body.
Soldiers, there is one thing you can be sure of: You will be at home with your families, in a jar on the mantelpiece.
Why are skeletons not funny? Because they have no humor. 🤣
A guy walks to his friend's house. His friend says, "Where is your girlfriend?" The guy says, "Meet me at the cemetery in a week."
Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
He didn't have the guts.
Why did Ten die?
It was between 9/11.