Death jokes
There was a math teacher on a plane that crashed. What was the last thing that went through their head?
A pentagon.
Today I went to the doctor for a test, and he said I have 10 months to live.
So later that day I stabbed him to death, and the judge sentenced me for 15 years in prison. Problem solved!
If a girl jumps off a cliff, some people call it suicide and some call it girl power, but I call it BULLSHIT.
Are suicide bombers taught properly how to fly, or...
Are they just given a quick crash course?
Where did Stephen Hawking go after he died?
FNAF Sister Location.
Joker: Knock knock...
Batman: Who's there?
Joker: Not your parents!
Suicide: Turning one's biology into complex organic chemistry.
My grandma unplugged the internet cable, so I unplugged her life support.
Do you know who didn't graduate high school this year?
The Parkland kids.
What did Stephen Hawking's computer say when he died?
"ERROR"
What do you get when you put a baby in a box filled with glass and nails and push it down the stairs?
... A boner.
What do you call a five year old with no friends?
A Sandy Hook survivor.
Why did the monkey fall from the tree? Because he was dead.
Dark humor jokes are like kids with cancer.
They never get old.
Did you hear about the guy who got his entire left side cut off? Well, he's dead.
What's the difference between Paul Walker and a PC?
When my PC crashes, I actually give a fuck.
Q: What were my son's last words before he died?
A: "Bye, Dad, I am going to school."
What's the difference between Jesus and a dead, naked baby?
I don't worship Jesus.
Mother: Jack, I have good news and some bad news, which would you like to hear first?
Jack: Bad News first.
Mother: I'm dying!
Jack: Mother, I said bad news first.
Mother: *cries*
Jack was never seen again.
Why can't Cleopatra ride a bicycle?
Because she's dead.