Death jokes
Did you hear about the guy who got his entire left side cut off? Well, he's dead.
What's the difference between Paul Walker and a PC?
When my PC crashes, I actually give a fuck.
Q: What were my son's last words before he died?
A: "Bye, Dad, I am going to school."
What's the difference between Jesus and a dead, naked baby?
I don't worship Jesus.
Mother: Jack, I have good news and some bad news, which would you like to hear first?
Jack: Bad News first.
Mother: I'm dying!
Jack: Mother, I said bad news first.
Mother: *cries*
Jack was never seen again.
Memes
WJE iceberg
Two hunters are in the woods and one falls to the ground.
Terrified, he dials 911 and says, “Help! I think my friend is dying. What do I do?” The nurse says, “I need you to make sure he’s dead.” The hunter replies, “Ok, I’ll be right back.” The nurse is startled after hearing a gunshot. The hunter comes back and says, “I checked. Now what do I do?” The nurse replies, “I need you to make sure his heart has completely stopped.” She is startled when she hears the sound of a taser. The hunter comes back and says, “What’s next?” The nurse replies, “I need you to make sure his brain has completely shut down.” The nurse is once again startled when she hears the sound of a bone being crushed by what seemed to be a hammer. The hunter comes back and asks, “Anything else?” The nurse says, “Nope. That’s it.”
Give Kobe a plane ticket, he'll fly for the trip, but give Kobe a helicopter and he'll fly for the rest of his life.
I'M GOING TO HELL FOR THIS!!!
Five out of six people agree that Russian Roulette is safe.
As tragic as school shootings are, it's also a quick way to a late-term abortion.
What did grandpa say before he died in the hospital bed?
"Boy, could you put my phone on charging?"
What does the man say about his baby sister Lydia? "I hope she electrocutes herself!"
What’s the difference between an emo kid and a dead pig?
Suicide squad.
Where did the orphan go after the orphanage blew up everywhere?
They asked me to speak at this funeral, and I said, "Of corpse!"
Roses are blood red, violets are twilight-hued.
Your flesh was delectable, and so was the rest of you.
Did you hear about the dead artist?
Too many strokes.
What colors were Kurt Cobain's eyes? Blue! One blew right and the other blew up!
Mom! I think that dad is sleeping.
Mom: No, honey, I killed him.
I don't like it when people make jokes about 9/11, because we lost 19 great patriots that day.
You don't want to know why it takes so long to put a dead woman in a mass-produced coffin in a pre-buried grave dug by machinery that is then filled by mourners.