Death jokes
What did Superman say to Batman?
Nothing, Bruce is dead.
Why did the murderer invest in condoms? To kill the future buyers!
So I went to my friend's funeral today. As we were all leaving, a kid put a "get well soon" card next to my friend's grave. 'Poor kid'.
What's black, white, and red?
A nun that fell down an elevator shaft.
My marriage was on the rocks, so I buried my wife under some.
When Stephen Hawking died, did they take him to the hospital or PC World?
Roses are red, violets are blue, you know what else is violent? Suicide with me and you.
Kid: Hey, why am I an orphan?
Adult: I don't know, ask your parents.
1) What was Techno's reaction when he died?
2) Where did all the orphans go?
PS: In case you don't get it, it's a pedophile joke, cuz he is one!
What was the last thought Jesus had before he died?
"Man, I could really use a crowbar right about now."
What does Kurt have in common with painters?
They paint walls.
Why did the orphan fall out of a tree?
They thought their parents would catch them.
My nan coughed and threw up a lung. Now she is dead.
Roses are red, violets are blue, Fortnite is dead and so are you.
What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a dead body? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.
Part 2: He walks up to a stake and nails himself there. Then he finds the knife and says to someone to find a cake to celebrate his death, but everybody came. That was the sign that nobody loved him, and that's how you know if people love you.
What's the difference between Paul Walker and a computer?
I give a fuck if my computer crashes.
An apple a day, or you'll die anyway.
Your mum is so old that when I told her to act her age, she died.
So Timmy was walking down the street with his friend Lea. Suddenly a car drives by and Timmy waves at the car.
Lea looks at him, puzzled, then later asks him; "Why'd you wave at that car back there?"
Timmy replies "Oh that was my brother, he went to the bar. He must just be driving home..."