Death jokes

Why did the serial killer cross the road? To get to the victim's house.

Knock, knock. Who's there? The serial killer.

What is an orphan's excuse to leave a party?

"I'm gonna make like my parents and run."

Before I die, I'm going to ask to be cremated.

Then I'm going to eat a bunch of popcorn kernels.

Then I'll die and get cremated. BOOM! I'm popcorn!

When you're banging the class slut and the school shooter says to leave his corpses alone.

Did you know that graveyards are the most popular place in the world?

Yeah, people are just DYING to get in there...

What's the last thing that went through Curt Cobain's mind?

His teeth.

I remember my uncle's last words:

"I don't think we're going shooting today."

I remember my dad's last words: "I met your father."

How did Billy find out he was in a minefield?

He saw his dad's corpse holding a jug of milk.

I made a website for orphans. It doesn’t have a home page.

What’s the difference between a Lamborghini and a dead body? I don’t have a Lamborghini in my garage.

What is the difference between Iron Man and Iron Woman? One is a superhero and the other is a simple command.

What's the difference between a Lambo and a pile of dead babies?

I don't have a Lambo in my garage.

What is the difference between 100 dead babies and a Mustang Challenger?

I don't have a Mustang Challenger in my garage.

A priest asks a convicted murderer on the electric chair, "Do you have any last request?"

"Yes," said the murderer, "Will you hold my hand?"

Me: Are you an orphan?

Orphan: Yes, what gave me away?

Me: Your parents.

My grandpa died in 9/11. He crashed a plane.

I asked an emo kid if they were jealous because their phone died before them.

My grandpa said my generation relies too much on technology.

Then I unplugged his life support. :)

I bet emo kids are jealous when their phone dies.

Your mom! Oh wait, you don't have one.

The flag at NAMBLA headquarters is flying at half mast.