Death jokes

Before I die, I'm going to ask to be cremated.

Then I'm going to eat a bunch of popcorn kernels.

Then I'll die and get cremated. BOOM! I'm popcorn!

How did Billy find out he was in a minefield?

He saw his dad's corpse holding a jug of milk.

What's the last thing that went through Curt Cobain's mind?

His teeth.

I remember my uncle's last words:

"I don't think we're going shooting today."

Did you know that graveyards are the most popular place in the world?

Yeah, people are just DYING to get in there...

I made a website for orphans. It doesn’t have a home page.

What’s the difference between a Lamborghini and a dead body? I don’t have a Lamborghini in my garage.

What is the difference between Iron Man and Iron Woman? One is a superhero and the other is a simple command.

What's the difference between a Lambo and a pile of dead babies?

I don't have a Lambo in my garage.

What is the difference between 100 dead babies and a Mustang Challenger?

I don't have a Mustang Challenger in my garage.

I never forget my grandpa's last words.

"Are you still holding the ladder?"

Do you know what the secret is to have a smoking, hot body as a senior citizen?

Cremation.

Kurt Cobain's last job was a blow job. He blew his head clean off.

The Earth was flat until yo mama buried herself.

One good thing about lynching during the holidays, free tree ornaments.

I will always remember my grandma's last words: "What are you doing with that pillow?"

My mum told me to stop telling the suicidal jokes.

I replied with: "Don't worry, suicide would be the last thing I'd do."

Guy 1: Hey, can you stop making 9/11 jokes? My dad died during it.

Guy 2: Sorry, I will stop. What was your dad?

Guy 1: The pilot. He saw a KFC and wanted it, so, well, you know.

What makes an orphan jump?

A bridge.

The flag at NAMBLA headquarters is flying at half mast.

My grandpa said my generation relies too much on technology.

Then I unplugged his life support. :)

I bet emo kids are jealous when their phone dies.