Death jokes
I made a website for orphans. It doesn’t have a home page.
What’s the difference between a Lamborghini and a dead body? I don’t have a Lamborghini in my garage.
What is the difference between Iron Man and Iron Woman? One is a superhero and the other is a simple command.
What's the difference between a Lambo and a pile of dead babies?
I don't have a Lambo in my garage.
What is the difference between 100 dead babies and a Mustang Challenger?
I don't have a Mustang Challenger in my garage.
Do you know what the secret is to have a smoking, hot body as a senior citizen?
Cremation.
Q. What's the difference between an assassinated Healthcare CEO and Old Yeller?
A. I cried when they shot Old Yeller.
Memes
Some people think Bin Laden is dead, but some think he's alive.
He is the Al-Qaeda Elvis.
Yo mama so stupid, when her phone dies, she buries it.
What makes an orphan jump?
A bridge.
What do you do when you see a naked dead girl?
Check your map, you're obviously going in circles.
Guy 1: Hey, can you stop making 9/11 jokes? My dad died during it.
Guy 2: Sorry, I will stop. What was your dad?
Guy 1: The pilot. He saw a KFC and wanted it, so, well, you know.
One good thing about lynching during the holidays, free tree ornaments.
Wanna know why Kobe can't shoot?
Because he's dead.
The man was dangling by a string!
I was jealous the day he died.
The flag at NAMBLA headquarters is flying at half mast.
Paul Walker made a new wrap cover, it's called "Flying Through the Windshield," and the song's name is "Crossing the Street."
My grandma unplugged the internet cable, so I unplugged her life support.
Man #1: Pretend your age is a level, I am Level 20.
Man #2: My son died at level 4.
Man #1: Lol, your son is a noob.
Why doesn’t Helen Keller go to the optometrist?
Because she’s dead.
What hits the ground first, the feather or the emo?
The feather, because the emo is hung in the tree.
You get paper cuts on each eye and walk off a cliff.