Death jokes
I asked an emo kid if they were jealous because their phone died before them.
My grandpa died in 9/11. He crashed a plane.
Everyone always has a special person in their life someday, but I think yours got ran over by a bus.
What’s the best way to make sure you don’t get COVID?
Suicide.
When I die I want to have a piece of paper near me giving a clue on how I died, like, "I want everyone to miss me except for this bullet," or, "You didn't hang with me but guess what did?"
What hits the ground first, the feather or the emo?
The feather, because the emo is hung in the tree.
You get paper cuts on each eye and walk off a cliff.
One of my friends named Jill had a drug overdose.
She didn’t have any of that drug after that. For the rest of her life, she acted very high. When she died, it was because of natural causes, not the drug. So this proves that a lethal dose is also a life time supply.
Man #1: Pretend your age is a level, I am Level 20.
Man #2: My son died at level 4.
Man #1: Lol, your son is a noob.
Why doesn’t Helen Keller go to the optometrist?
Because she’s dead.
What do you say to a kid in a trash compactor?
You looking a little square.
The Earth was flat until yo mama buried herself.
A suicidal boy went up to a tree and said "hi".
The tree never responded; it left him hanging.
Some people think Bin Laden is dead, but some think he's alive.
He is the Al-Qaeda Elvis.
Yo mama so stupid, when her phone dies, she buries it.
Did you know Princess Diana had dandruff?
Yea, they found her “head and shoulders“ on the backseat of her car.
One good thing about lynching during the holidays, free tree ornaments.
How do you bury a prostitute?
In a Y-shaped coffin.
The flag at NAMBLA headquarters is flying at half mast.
Do you know what the secret is to have a smoking, hot body as a senior citizen?
Cremation.