What do you say to a kid in a trash compactor?
You looking a little square.
Death Jokes
The Earth was flat until yo mama buried herself.
A suicidal boy went up to a tree and said "hi".
The tree never responded; it left him hanging.
What do you do when you see a naked dead girl?
Check your map, you're obviously going in circles.
Some people think Bin Laden is dead, but some think he's alive.
He is the Al-Qaeda Elvis.
Yo mama so stupid, when her phone dies, she buries it.
Did you know Princess Diana had dandruff?
Yea, they found her “head and shoulders“ on the backseat of her car.
The flag at NAMBLA headquarters is flying at half mast.
One good thing about lynching during the holidays, free tree ornaments.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends how hard you throw them.
What is red, green, lies in a ditch, and is covered in cookie crumbs?
...A girl scout that got hit by a car.
What is the difference between a dead baby and an orphan?
The dead baby happened on purpose while the orphan came out as an accident!
What's 12 inches long, red, and when I force feed it to my wife, she cries?
Her miscarriage.
My dad died in 9/11. He was such a good pilot.
What was the last thing that went through Aiden's head before he died?
His elbow.
"I’m sorry" and "I apologize" mean the same thing.
Except at a funeral.
A rich girl is flying on his helicopter when suddenly it crashes, killing everyone. What was the last thing that went through her head?
The helicopter blade!
Do you know pigeons die when they have sex?
I mean, the one I fucked died.
When you think you can’t fail anymore if you’re dead, then you fail at suiciding.
Where did the orphans go when the orphanage blew up?
Everywhere.
