Death jokes

Q. What's the difference between an assassinated Healthcare CEO and Old Yeller?

A. I cried when they shot Old Yeller.

Paul Walker made a new wrap cover, it's called "Flying Through the Windshield," and the song's name is "Crossing the Street."

My grandma unplugged the internet cable, so I unplugged her life support.

What’s the best way to make sure you don’t get COVID?

Suicide.

Are you a toaster?

Because I wanna take a bath with you.

When I die I want to have a piece of paper near me giving a clue on how I died, like, "I want everyone to miss me except for this bullet," or, "You didn't hang with me but guess what did?"

I asked an emo kid if they were jealous because their phone died before them.

My grandpa said my generation relies too much on technology.

Then I unplugged his life support. :)

Everyone always has a special person in their life someday, but I think yours got ran over by a bus.

My grandpa died in 9/11. He crashed a plane.

The man was dangling by a string!

I was jealous the day he died.

I bet emo kids are jealous when their phone dies.

Me: Are you an orphan?

Orphan: Yes, what gave me away?

Me: Your parents.

I will always remember my grandma's last words: "What are you doing with that pillow?"

The flag at NAMBLA headquarters is flying at half mast.

Your mom! Oh wait, you don't have one.

You get paper cuts on each eye and walk off a cliff.

What hits the ground first, the feather or the emo?

The feather, because the emo is hung in the tree.

Man #1: Pretend your age is a level, I am Level 20.

Man #2: My son died at level 4.

Man #1: Lol, your son is a noob.

What do you say to a kid in a trash compactor?

You looking a little square.