Death jokes
Like a shooter says, "I put the fun in funeral!"
Why is Death the world's biggest slut?
Death gets to f*** everyone.
Why can't you kill a hooker?
Because they're dead inside anyway.
Three Indians get captured by an enemy leader, and the leader says, "Go in the woods and find 10 fruits of the same kind."
The first one comes back with apples. The enemy leader says, "Shove them up your butt and don't make a sound, or I will kill you." He gets to two and yells. The leader kills him. He goes up to heaven.
The second guy comes back and has grapes. He gets to 9 and laughs. The leader kills him. He goes to heaven.
The first guy asks the second guy why he laughed, saying he had it in the bag. The second guy said he saw the third guy carrying pineapples.
What do you call a dead woman in the back of your car?
Idk, I just have a couple in the backseat.
An orphan saw a tornado, and he thought he saw his mom, but then he realized it was a corpse and said, "Hi, Dad!"
Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?
Because he died.
For sale: Dead canary.
Not going cheep.
A friend of mine used to be morbidly obese, but after lots of exercise and hard work... We were able to lift his coffin.
If a girl jumps off a cliff, some people call it suicide and some call it girl power, but I call it BULLSHIT.
I'd tell you a Kobe joke.
But I am afraid it wouldn't land well.
Where does the orphan go when he's done with school? To the cemetery.
Why can't Juice WRLD hit rock bottom?
Because he's too high.
We finally have something in common with Africa. They die of starvation, we die of overeating.
I heard this was a really popular funeral home. People are dying to get in.
An emo and a leaf fall out of a tree. Which hits the ground first? The leaf. The rope stopped the emo.
Who were the fastest readers on the planet? 9/11 victims, they went through 80 stories in 10 seconds.
what do you call a baby in an oven?
my next meal.
I don't like them white, pale, always talking about death EMO kids!
Sorry, I meant CHEMO kids.
Kobe Bryant never missed a shot.
But he nailed that mountain.