Death jokes
What was the last thing that crossed Princess Diana's mind?
The steering wheel.
"Suicide is a murder, and my body should go to jail."
My uncle died on nine eleven... he was the best pilot in Iraq.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
He tried to update to Windows 10, and his hard drive corrupted.
Why did the hedgehog cross the road?
To get to the other side (suicide).
Why did the second hedgehog cross the road?
To see his flatmate.
My friend told me to make more friends, so I joined a suicide cult.
I’ll be hanging with them for a while.
Hitler killed 18 million and only died once.
Fucking camper!
What falls to the ground first if an apple and an emo kid fall from a tree?
The apple because the rope caught the emo kid.
What was the last thing that went through the heads of the 9/11 jumpers?
Their ankles.
What's the difference between the Twin Towers and the people at the old folks home?
They both collapsed.
Why did the serial killer cross the road? To get to the victim's house.
Knock, knock. Who's there? The serial killer.
What is an orphan's excuse to leave a party?
"I'm gonna make like my parents and run."
When you're banging the class slut and the school shooter says to leave his corpses alone.
Did you know that graveyards are the most popular place in the world?
Yeah, people are just DYING to get in there...
What's the last thing that went through Curt Cobain's mind?
His teeth.
I remember my uncle's last words:
"I don't think we're going shooting today."
I remember my dad's last words: "I met your father."
What’s the difference between a dumpster full of dead babies and a Lamborghini?
I don’t have a Lamborghini in my garage.
What can Michael Jackson eat in his coffin?
Nothing, only brown bread, what they call it! 😂😂😂
How did Billy find out he was in a minefield?
He saw his dad's corpse holding a jug of milk.