My dad just found out and told my mom about one of their friends, Chad, who just murdered his wife, Claire. After doing that, he turned the gun on himself and committed suicide right after.
My mom's reply: "Jesus, Chad will do anything to get out of cleaning his mess, won't he?"
An apple and an emo girl fall from the same height in a tree. Which one hits the ground first? The apple, cuz the noose stops her.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, Your grandma died, your dad left you too, Now you're living with your old grandma coot. Oh, let's not forget your mom left you, too. You gon' live alone, die alone, with no roses on your casket, too.
"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Knife." "Knife, who?" "How are you still alive? I just stabbed you!"
My grandma unplugged the internet cable, so I unplugged her life support.
My grandma told me I was next at my brother's wedding, so I told her she was next at her husband's funeral.
I would go suck some titties, but I’d rather die from being shot than cancer.
Orphan: Hey, where's the milk?
Dad: . . .
Paul Walker made a new wrap cover, it's called "Flying Through the Windshield," and the song's name is "Crossing the Street."
What did Osama Bin Laden's kids not inherit after his death?
His hide-and-seek skills.
Died and came back a cowboy, I call that reintarnation.
Bin Laden's relatives were killed in a plane crash, lol.
What did Dom Toretto say about the tree Paul Walker hit?
"Family strong, but not that strong."
Can I pin your corpse to a tree?
What am I gonna do on the 5th anniversary of the Parkland shooting?
Shoot a load in you just like I shot those kids ;)
What song did the Titanic victims listen to as they died?
Ice, Ice Baby!!
Are you a school? 'Cause I wanna shoot kids in you.
What's Osama bin Laden's favorite song?
"Under The Sea!!!!! Under The Sea!!!" - The Little Mermaid
Get it ;) Dead ass motherfucker.
What do emos do?
Hang.
I will never forget my grandpa's last words, Hold the ladder!
