Death jokes

Wanna know why Kobe can't shoot?

Because he's dead.

When I die, I'll let everyone I kept dear lower my coffin into the ground.

So they can let me down one last time.

I, for one, wish Donald Trump was President again. It's been a while since we had a presidential assassination.

Is shooting and killing a pregnant woman a spawn kill or double kill?

Kobe Bryant ain’t flying that well anymore.

One good thing about lynching during the holidays, free tree ornaments.

My girlfriend's dog died, so I tried to cheer her up by getting her an identical one. It just made her more upset. She screamed at me and said, "What am I supposed to do with two dead dogs?"

I wonder if any of these people are still alive.

Anyways,

When I arrived at the pearly gates when I died, the guardian asked me how I died. I told him I was just hanging around.

Once I was riding my bike and saw a $5. I jumped off and died.

I asked an emo girl, "Do you ever get jealous of your phone when it dies?"

What happened to Peter Pan when he jumped off the Twin Towers?

He Neverland.

My suicidal friend said he liked trains, so we took him to the tracks.

Technoblade would love it here.

That moment when the emo kid hangs himself in a bathroom stall, and the autistic kid thinks it's a pinata.

Orphans don’t have parents, lol.

What do the films The Sixth Sense and Titanic have in common?

Icy dead people.

On the plus side, Nicola Bulley no longer has a problem with alcohol.

What does the school shooter do after shooting all the kids?

Shoot kids in them ;)

What do you call the nun that hates?

For Paul Walker, Mother Teresa.

What were Paul Walker's last words?

Hey, that tree's growing!