Death jokes

I'll always remember my grandpa's last words.

"Are you getting the knife?"

I came across a dead body in the woods. I liked it so much I came again.

I'll never forget my grandpa's last words.

"Are you still holding the ladder?"

When Hitler killed himself, he shot himself twice. The first one was Operation Barbarossa, and the second one was his death.

Here is a story, my best friend was Chinese, his name was Chong-king. I took him to a restaurant one day and he said, "I am Chong-king." I said I know your name is Chong-king, within a few minutes he just randomly died making weird noises and turning blue by every second.

Anyone know what happened?

Four kids at my school tried suicide and failed. They are now known as the Suicide Squad.

Why drink water and not bleach?

If I die, does my depression die with me?

Cars are like bullets; you jump in front of one, and they solve all your problems.

I know everything about Walt Disney! How he died, how his mom and dad died, how his kids died, when he was born, where he was born, and how he was born. 😏

Who were the fastest readers on the planet? 9/11 victims, they went through 80 stories in 10 seconds.

Why do orphans have no parents?

Say your joke in the comments.

What’s the difference between a leaf and an emo kid falling out of a tree? The leaf reaches the ground.

If you give someone a plane ticket, they will fly for a day, but if you push them out of a plane, they'll fly for the rest of their life.

I would like to die like my Islamic father, in his sleep, but not like the rest of the people in the plane or those in those identical towers.

Your mama is so stupid, her phone died, so she buried it in the backyard!

Pilot: This is my last flight, everyone.

Passengers: *Clap*

Pilot: I became a pilot for one reason: To conquer my greatest fear.

Flight Attendant: And what is that?

Pilot: Dying alone. *speeds up towards Twin Towers*

Also the Pilot: Now who is ready to play some Jen---

We really should erect a statue of the guy who killed Hitler.

Please encourage me to do suicide! ;P

"Hitler wasn't such a bad guy, after all, he did kill Hitler."