You're so ugly that when you were born, your mother asked, "How does my little treasure look?", and the doctor replied, "I think we should bury it immediately."
Do you know what organ remains warm even after a woman dies?
My penis (or rather my neutron laser priming its firing sequence).
A teenager went into a creepy house with his 3 friends. Only 2 came out. Where are the others?
(Getting brutally murdered.)
1) What was Techno's reaction when he died?
2) Where did all the orphans go?
PS: In case you don't get it, it's a pedophile joke, cuz he is one!
Q) Why is Technoblade's body hard?
A) Cuz he was thinking of children on his deathbed!
Maybe we should stop talking about orphans, their parents will get ma... oh wait.
A missile hit a hospital earlier this morning. Fortunately, no one was injured - but 100 were killed.
Are you George Floyd?
Cause you take my breath away! ๐ฎโ๐จ
What's the difference between me and a rope?
The rope doesn't hang from itself.
There was an orphan once, and someone knocks on his door and said, "Hello, son, come and hug me." But the orphan says, "Excuse me, who are you?" and the guy says, "You don't remember me? I'm your dad." And then the orphan says, "Fine then, if you're really my dad, come inside and let me ask you some questions." And the man says, "OK then, but I am really your dad." Then the orphan asked some questions to the man, and the man gets some of them right, so the orphan believes that the man is his dad. And then the orphan says, "You really are my dad?" and then he shows his dad his house, and the orphan has a roommate, and the dad and the orphan finally get to the bedroom, and then the dad knocks out the orphan, and then the dad starts to have something with the orphan/son, and the roommate hears weird noises in the orphan's/son's room, and he walks in and sees them having sex, and the roommate records it but then kicks the dad out of the house, and then the roommate shares the video to the orphan's school chat, and then the next day the dad gets arrested because he was actually a gay nonce, and everybody at the orphan's school calls him gay, but he really isn't, but since he was mad and disgusted, he pulled an AK47 out of his bag and kills everybody in the school and was never seen again.
Btw this is a joke so don't take it seriously.
I thought it was polite to open the door for a lady, but she just screamed and flew out of the plane.
What were Michael Jackson's last words? "Take me to the children's hospital."
Farrah Fawcett, upon arriving at the pearly gates, God asked her, for having led such an honest life, to grant her one wish. Farrah simply requested that the children of the world would be safe.
Five hours later, Michael Jackson died.
One time, Little Johnny heard his parents "wrestling" in their bed. So the next morning, he went to rape all the little girls in school. This then led to his demise.
No girls told on him, but when he grew up, he was a raper. He never stopped. In total, "little" Johnny had over 31 sons that he didn't know about. When he was sentenced to jail, he raped all the inmates despite his small figure. He was then sent to the death sentence, "eagle wing" torture style.
His parents were happy he died, and the morbid rapist was put down, never to return again. However, all the sons had his genes, including his MINDSET. They then became a cult and shot down 2014 cops, 471 military members and 72951 males and females. The kids, you ask? Only the males were spared, and taught how to operate the guns. All but 419 females were killed. They soon became the world's strongest empire. No one could stop Little Johnny's sons. NO ONE.
Whatโs the difference between a Mercedes and a Skoda?
Princess Di wouldnโt be seen dead in the back of a Skoda...
Why canโt Michael Jackson get within 500 meters of a school?
Cause heโs dead.
What is the difference between a dead body and a Lamborghini?
I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.
What do you call someone who gets killed at 12 o'clock on New Year's? First kill of the match.
"Wubba Lubba Dub Dub" is one way to describe how my inner child acts, but yesterday I killed them. Now I hear "Wubba Lubba Dub Dub," Iโm drowning in the tub.
Where did Sarah go after the bombing?
Everywhere. ๐
