Death jokes
What’s the difference between a leaf and an emo kid falling out of a tree? The leaf reaches the ground.
If you give someone a plane ticket, they will fly for a day, but if you push them out of a plane, they'll fly for the rest of their life.
I would like to die like my Islamic father, in his sleep, but not like the rest of the people in the plane or those in those identical towers.
Your mama is so stupid, her phone died, so she buried it in the backyard!
Pilot: This is my last flight, everyone.
Passengers: *Clap*
Pilot: I became a pilot for one reason: To conquer my greatest fear.
Flight Attendant: And what is that?
Pilot: Dying alone. *speeds up towards Twin Towers*
Also the Pilot: Now who is ready to play some Jen---
We really should erect a statue of the guy who killed Hitler.
Please encourage me to do suicide! ;P
"Hitler wasn't such a bad guy, after all, he did kill Hitler."
My dad just found out and told my mom about one of their friends, Chad, who just murdered his wife, Claire. After doing that, he turned the gun on himself and committed suicide right after.
My mom's reply: "Jesus, Chad will do anything to get out of cleaning his mess, won't he?"
An apple and an emo girl fall from the same height in a tree. Which one hits the ground first? The apple, cuz the noose stops her.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, Your grandma died, your dad left you too, Now you're living with your old grandma coot. Oh, let's not forget your mom left you, too. You gon' live alone, die alone, with no roses on your casket, too.
"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Knife." "Knife, who?" "How are you still alive? I just stabbed you!"
My grandma unplugged the internet cable, so I unplugged her life support.
My grandma told me I was next at my brother's wedding, so I told her she was next at her husband's funeral.
I would go suck some titties, but I’d rather die from being shot than cancer.
Orphan: Hey, where's the milk?
Dad: . . .
Paul Walker made a new wrap cover, it's called "Flying Through the Windshield," and the song's name is "Crossing the Street."
What did Osama Bin Laden's kids not inherit after his death?
His hide-and-seek skills.
Died and came back a cowboy, I call that reintarnation.
Bin Laden's relatives were killed in a plane crash, lol.