I will never forget my grandpa's last words: "You still holding the ladder, son?"
What's the difference between the Queen's death and Princess Diana's death? The Queen died in peace, not pieces.
What happened after Technoblade died?
Everyone got raw pork chop.
Give a man a match, and he’ll be warm for a few hours. Set him on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life
A man wakes from a coma. His wife changes out of her black clothes and, irritated, remarks, “I really cannot depend on you in anything, can I!”
A favorite childhood memory was building sandcastles with my grandfather, that is until my mom took the urn away from me.
What does Diana stand for?
Died In A Nasty Accident.
A man went into a library and asked for a book on how to do suicide, and the librarian said, "Fuck off, you won't bring it back."
Suicide really isn't something to joke about, unless it's hanging yourself.
It's a really quicker way to die, and less blood spilled for your mother to clean up.
Why don't orphans learn about ancient Egypt? They don't know what mummies are.
Why did little Billy drop his ice cream cone?
Because he got hit by a bus.
Q: What does a dead prostitute and a swimming pool have in common?
A: They're both cold when you first get in, but warm up after a few strokes.
I saw an orphan on the street. I said, "Where are your parents?" He cried and said, "My mum and dad died in a car crash!" 😆😆😂😂🤣
I knew a girl that died from having phone sex... She died of hearing aids.
One day, a class of children were killed in a bus accident, but only some survived. One was praying that he would survive, and the other said, "First time?"
I don't like making Kobe jokes... they always crash and burn.
Have you heard about the baby with cancer? It never gets old.
I was digging in my backyard and I found gold, and I went to run and tell my mom, but I realized why I was digging in the backyard.
how did 10 die? because it was in between 9 and 11
Is it necrophilia if they die while you're having sex and you just don't realize?
That's what happened to my dog.
