A guy gives labor to a baby girl and a boy twins. The doctor said but the lady was like,
"Ugh, why do I need my husband to be in labor and I want a girl, not a boy, just a girl!"
The lady passed out 😵 and then found out she was in a coma. The man who was in labor died. The two babies got a nanny, an evil one. The nanny killed the babies on their first birthday.
How do Ephippians celebrate their kids' first birthday?
Put a flower on their gravestone.
I went to a store to get milk, but when I got home, there were a million cows waiting for milk, so they killed me.
A guy dies and finds himself in Hell. Despondent, he sits on the ground and weeps uncontrollably.
Demon: "Why so sad, my friend?"
Guy: "What do you think? I'm in hell!"
Demon: "Hell's not so bad. We actually have a lot of fun down here. You a drinkin' man?"
Guy: "Sure, I love to drink."
Demon: "Well, you're gonna love Mondays then. On Mondays, that's all we do, is drink. Whiskey, tequila, vodka, beer... We drink till we throw up and then drink some more."
Guy: "Gee, that sounds great!"
Demon: "You a smoker?"
Guy: "You better believe it."
Demon: "Alright! You're gonna love Tuesdays. We get the finest cigars from around the world and smoke our fucking lungs out. If you get cancer, it's ok, you're already dead!"
Guy: "Golly."
Demon: "I bet you like to gamble."
Guy: "Yes, as a matter of fact, I do."
Demon: "Good, because Wednesday is gambling day. Craps, blackjack, horse races, you name it."
Guy: "Wow."
Demon: "You like to do drugs?"
Guy: "Well, I love to do drugs. You don't mean..."
Demon: "That's right! Thursday is drug day. Help yourself to a great big bowl of crack. Smoke a joint the size of a submarine. You can do all the drugs you want, and if you overdose, it's ok... You're already dead!"
Guy: "Neat! I never realized hell was such a swingin' place!"
Demon: "You gay?"
Guy: "Uh, no."
Demon: "Ohhh... You're gonna hate Fridays...."
What do you call suicidal Hitler?
Slitler.
Never challenge death to a pillow fight.
Unless you're prepared for the reapercushions.
Why can’t Michael Jackson go more than 500 feet into a school?
Because he’s dead.
Why can't an orphan live peacefully?
Technoblade: As a ghost, he could locate all orphans within 2 weeks.
A man was walking home but felt tired, so took a short cut through the cemetery. He then heard a tap, tap, then out of the corner of his eye, he saw a man with a hammer hitting the tombstone. The man said, "You scared me. I thought you were a ghost." The other person mumbled, "They spelled my name wrong."
I have been thinking about suicide lately. I mean, hey, my mom tells me I can do anything I put my mind to.
The emo girl got jealous that her phone died and not her.
Why did Technoblade die?
Because God wished him dead for all the orphans he made fun of.
What did the tree do to the emo? Left her hanging.
Juice WRLD
More like "Juice Boxed."
RIP tho.
Do emo kids get jealous of their phone when it dies?
What do you call a pig that goes to the slaughterhouse? Technoblade.
The last words of a depressive person are: "Yay, Freedom."
What did the tree say to the kid with the rope?
Nothing, he was hanging.
Hey, my grandfather was part of WWII. Yeah. He killed Hitler!
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
Cause he would never look both ways.
