Death

Death Jokes

What's the difference between an orgy and mass suicide?

When exactly my cult members drink the Kool-Aid.

The IRS hates when you don't have to pay your taxes with this one mind-blowing trick.

How do you know the hooker killed herself?

She sniffed the line off the dresser you said not to touch.

Why did the depressed person rob a bank? Because you're not killing yourself if a cop does it for you!

A guy is sitting in a bar, feeling sad. "What's the matter?" asks the bartender.

"My paternal uncle died three months ago."

"Wow! No wonder you're sad!"

"It's not that. He left me a third of his estate."

"Then what's the matter?"

"My maternal uncle died two months ago."

"Two uncles in two months? No wonder you're sad!"

"It's not that either. He left me half of his estate."

"Then what's the matter?"

"My father died last month."

"Your dad too? No wonder you're sad!"

"It's not that. He left me his entire estate."

"Then what's the matter?"

With a massive sob, the guy says, "None of my relatives died this month!"

Give a man a match, and he’ll be warm for a few hours. Set him on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life

A man wakes from a coma. His wife changes out of her black clothes and, irritated, remarks, “I really cannot depend on you in anything, can I!”

A favorite childhood memory was building sandcastles with my grandfather, that is until my mom took the urn away from me.