A fat man meets a skinny man.
The fat man tells the skinny man: "When people look at you, they think the world's starving to death."
And the skinny man responds: "When they look at you, they know why."
Did you hear they think Michael Jackson died from food poisoning? He ate 12-year-old nuts and a 13-year-old wiener.
The "P" in Batman stands for parents.
What was the last hat Princess Diana wore?
A bonnet.
A woman prayed to be a mother everyday for many years until she crossed a road without looking and got hit by a woman driver and died.
When she met God, she asked Him, "How come you didn't answer my prayers?"
God replied, "I did. I kept sending men to rape you, but you kept on choosing to destroy my creations by having an abortion."
Q. What do filicide jokes and filicide victims have in common?
A. They never get old.
At this point, I don't want a funeral when I commit. I just want a going away party so people have an excuse to celebrate.
"Rock-a-bye baby on the treetop, When the wind blows, the baby will drop. Then the baby will lay on the ground, Not moving a muscle, not making a sound."
What did the pirate say when he saw a ghost? He said, "Oh my God, it's me dead parrot!"
What's My Favorite Thing About My Grandpa?
His life insurance...
When you die, scientists will preserve your skull.
Why do orphans die so much?
'Cause MJ said "she got COVID-19."
Luca’s Mom & Dad Be throwing the kids into the Fountain in the city but there sea monster so if the went to jail for that the would be on death row anyways. 🤣
I was gardening and found a chest full of blood... I forgot I was in the cemetery.
Why did Stephen die so early?
He didn't use long lasting batteries.
A man ate a glue stick. It tasted bad. He died. Hahahahah!
What's the difference between the Twin Towers and your parents?
Nothing. They are both just memories.
Why don't a gun and an orphan have anything in common? The gun is actually useful.
Everyone's had a mind-blowing day before, just ask JFK.
What's Juice Wrld's favorite salad? A seizure salad.
