what do you call it when a person dies in Panera Bread?
Panera dead.
What do birds and children have in common?
If you shoot them, they die.
What do a relationship and suicidal thought have in common? They’ll both end soon.
I saw a helicopter on January 26, 2020. Then Kobe was on the news.
Where did little billy go when he was stuck in a minefield... everywhere.
That joke was pretty dark, but it got pretty light for a second.
The guy who stole my diary just died. My thoughts are with his family.
Best way to trick your friends:
A brick falls out of a plane.
How do you put an elephant in the fridge? Open the door, put him in, and close the door.
How do you put a giraffe in the fridge? Open the door, take the poor elephant out, put the giraffe in, and close the door.
The animal kingdom is throwing a party, all the animals are there except for one, who? The giraffe, because he's still in the fridge.
Sally needs to cross the river that is known to be filled with deadly crocodiles, but she crossed safely, how? Because the crocodiles are at the party, but Sally still dies after crossing the river, how? Because she was hit by the flying brick.
Kobe was a bloody legend. Now he's just bloody.
My uncle died on 9/11. Her last words were "Allahu Akbar."
I caught the flowers at a wedding--now married to a hot guy. But then I caught an STD at a funeral, I kinda nervo.........
So an emo shot themselves, and so the detective decides to ask why, but it just goes in one ear and out the other.
What will fall faster, an emo or an apple?
An apple, because the emo would get caught on the rope.
Why did the child die? To see God, our father.
A man died and went to heaven. Every time you cheat, you get a worse car.
The first man cheated 5 times; he got a Jeep. The second man cheated 3 times; he got a BMW. The third man never cheated; he got a Lamborghini.
The second man saw the third man sad. He said, "Why are you sad?" The third man said, "I saw my wife with a scooter."
All my friends live in a forest. It's called Aokigahara.
Technoblade never got a wife.
Suicide won't work, I'm already dead inside.
I am going to be a ghost for Halloween. I actually want to be a ghost every day, because at least I'd be dead.
A man dies and goes to heaven. When he gets there, he sees an angel standing in the center of a room, surrounded by clocks. The man goes over to the angel and says, "What are these clocks for?" The angel looks at him. "These are lie clocks," the angel says, "every time someone lies, it ticks once. Mother Teresa never lied, so hers is at noon, and Honest Abe only lied twice." The man asks, "Where is Bill Clinton's clock?" The angel smiles, then points up at the fan.
You look good now, but you’d look better hanging from my ceiling. ;)
