Death jokes
How do you tell when your wife is dead?
The sex is the same, but the dishes pile up.
What do classical musicians do when they die?
They decompose.
How many dead prostitutes does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
More than three because the basement is still dark!
What was the last thought Jesus had before he died?
"Man, I could really use a crowbar right about now."
For sale: Dead canary.
Not going cheep.