I'd tell a necrophilia joke, but they've been done to death.
Death Jokes
If a girl jumps off a cliff, some people call it suicide and some call it girl power, but I call it BULLSHIT.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get hit by a bus.
I ran over three disabled kids.
"Cripple kill."
Q: How do you knock out 26 kids in one punch?
A: You give them a Sandy Hook.
People should build orphanages next to graveyards so at least orphans can see their parents.
What does RIP stand for on Maddie's head stone?
Raped in Portugal!
My crush rejected me 2 years ago, and I still have never moved on. I'll be over her when a train is over me.
Do y'all know the saying "Hang in there?" Well, fuck that, because I might as well be hanging myself.
My friend: I want to cut myself.
Me: No, don’t do that. *hands lighter* Do this instead.
My ex-boyfriend threatened to kill me because I was suicidal.
I wanted to tell him, "Well, can we get what we both want?" I was already planning on dying anyway.
I was at a funeral. I kissed a hot girl I did not know. She was the one that died.
Person: You can't kill an orphan!
Me: What are they going to do, go tell their parents?
What did the cannibal do after he dumped his wife?
He wiped.
What's the best comeback for a person calling you an orphan?
Kill their parents.
When a boy points at his parents, they disappear.
What's black and white and can't turn around in a corridor?
A nun with a javelin through her neck.
We better stop telling orphan jokes because their parents will get mad. Oh... wait... never mind.
My Italian chef friend died last week. He pasta away.
Some people say I like heights; others say I'm a daredevil.
In reality, I like killing myself.
