Death jokes
Parents...
Guy 1: How far are we going?
Guy 2: About as far as somebody's miscarriage.
I will never forget my grandpa's last words:
"What the fuck is in this drink?"
Are you a gravestone?
Because I really wish you were on top of me right now!
I’d make a Kobe joke, it just wouldn’t land right.
If at first you don't succeed, oh well, so much for skydiving.
Why did Kenny die?
Was he trying to kill himself? Was he just dicking around?
What is the difference between Juice Wrld and an orphan?
One is loved by all.
So, a woman gives birth to a child, and the doctor grabs it by the leg and holds it upside down. Then, he starts swinging it around the room, slamming it into the furniture. The mother tries to get up and starts screaming and crying, “Let my baby go, you sick bastard!” The doctor looks at the mother and stops swinging the baby. He is holding it by the left leg and starts chuckling, “I’m just kidding, it was already dead.”
My grandpa told me I was too dependent on devices. I told him he was a hypocrite and unplugged him from his life support.
Hey girl, are you suicide? 'Cause I think of you everyday.
Someone: PLEASE EAT! I DON'T WANT YOU TO DIE!
Me: *Trying to remember how long it would take me to die of starvation because I've already googled it and given up because it takes too long.*
Me: Na, yeah, I still have 19 days left.
The death of JFK must have splattered on the news.
If your controller ever dies, remember those people that died on the submersible.
Yo mama was so fat, the Earth was flat before they put your mama in a grave.
What’s the difference between Diana and Casper the ghost?
Casper can go through walls, Diana can't.
What do world hunger and a Mercedes have in common?
Diana can't stop either.
Guess whose parents didn't survive?
Liv's parents.
George Floyd: 3 years sober, drug and alcohol free.
Guy 1: Hey, can you stop making 9/11 jokes? My dad died during it.
Guy 2: Sorry, I will stop. What was your dad?
Guy 1: The pilot. He saw a KFC and wanted it, so, well, you know.