Death jokes
I was making a bet with my grandfather about who would die first. I said that I would die first.
He said "Bet" and died after he drank his coffee.
He was my least favorite grandparent.
Stephen Hawking died.
What’s the difference between a hundred decapitated babies and a Ferrari? I don’t have a Ferrari in my garage.
Your mom should show you your real home. The trash!
If death was an option for a look, you could be the first.
Girl: I've been an orphan since I was three.
Boy: Knock knock.
Girl: ...Who's there?
Boy: Not your parents!
Did you know my grandpa was in WW2? He killed Hitler.
I saw my friend hang themselves. My response was, I guess they wanted to hang with someone.
This is NOT my joke. I found it on Google. It's a texting joke.
Mom: Son, your grandma just passed away LOL.
Son: Mom, what do you mean LOL? That means laughing out loud.
Mom: Oh no, I thought that meant lots of love. I have to text everyone back!!!!
Can I die?
This 15-year-old girl wanted a cross on her room with a long nail on the end over her bed. Unfortunately, it killed her dad because it fell off the wall.
(Do you get the joke?)
(Her dad was on her, and it fell and killed him.)
Why did the orphan cross the road?
To die on the other side.
Person 1: You are the dumbest person in the class.
Person 2: Well, you're the second. Maybe, but at least I'm not the dumbest.
Person 2: I know how to fix that!
... Next day person commits suicide...
People told Kobe to fly high. Look what happened.
An autistic kid hit me, so I kicked him back and he died.
I will pay someone to kill me.
Why did the skeleton cross the road?
To get to skull.
Why did the skeleton want a friend? Because he was feeling bonely.
I'll never forget my aunt's last words before she died: "Can you stop shaking the ladder, please?"
What gets louder as it gets smaller?
A baby in a trash compactor.
Yo mamma so stupid, she starved to death in a grocery store.