Death jokes
Why did Hitler die? He got hit by 'ler'.
My dad, unfortunately, passed away when we couldn’t remember his blood type...
His last words to us were, “Be positive!”
What's the difference between my wife and a battery? I can't use a battery when it dies.
When a military person dies, we shoot all night. When a drunkard dies, we drink all night. When a Christian dies, we pray all night. What if a prostitute dies? What should we do? Please tell me.
I recently was told by my therapist to stop with the suicide jokes. So I replied with "Don't worry, it will all end soon."
Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
Because he was part of the Lazy Bones team!
One night, I saw a woman sitting behind a dumpster. So I took her home. We talked all the way there. When we got home, I gave her a bath. Later on, things started getting passionate. We started doing intercourse, and some of the noises she made you would have thought she was still alive!
An orphan walks on a path asking for his mum. Soon he remembers he doesn't have a mum.
(Also, I had sex with ur mum. She was screaming "daddy~")
Why are skeletons so calm?
Why did the chicken cross the road because he wanted to get run over and poop, and he died for 30 years until he was sent to Joe for getting run over, and he got killed by something, and then he died, and then he got it by you poop.
I’ll never forget my father’s last words...
Oh fuck, it’s a bus!
What’s green and orange and sits at the bottom of the swimming pool?
A baby with burst armbands.
I will never forget my grandfather's last words: “The fuck you doing with that knife?”
My dad drove past a graveyard. He said, "I won't be buried there." I asked why.
He said, "Because I am not dead yet!"
Why did Princess Diana cross the road? - 'Cause she wasn't wearing a seatbelt.
My jokes are pretty "bone-arifick," if I say so myself. Hehhehe... Get it?
What did the people do to the deceased after tests?
They bari-um.
What did the rope say to me?
"Hey there man, you wanna hang later?"
Everybody misses Xxxtentacion, but the bullet didn't...
The skeleton cancelled the gallery showing of his skull-ptures because his heart just wasn’t in it.