Death

Death jokes

Man

  • A man is about to be hanged. His executioner asks for his last words.

    The man says, “Man, it’s hard to think of something when your life is on the line.”

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    God

  • What's the difference between a God and my mom?

    My mom exists. I mean... she did at one point! Unlike any "Gods."

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    Hamster

  • When I was a kid, my hamster died, so my mum bought a new identical one, hoping I wouldn't notice. It didn't matter anyway, since I beat that one to death, too.

  • 3
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    Patient

  • The doctor gave his patient 1 day of life, so he shot him. Then the judge gave him 15 years, so there you go, problem solved.