Death jokes
An orphan, an emo, and an apple are on a tree. The apples get picked unlike the orphan, while the emo kid is already dead from hanging.
Q. What is Terri Schiavo's favorite Eminem song?
A. "Till I Collapse."
I still remember the last thing Gaster said before he kicked the bucket, it was, "Hey, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?" (Sans)
What's the difference between an orphan and a corpse?
One of them has someone to mourn them.
What's the difference between a hundred decapitated babies and a Ferrari?
I don't have a Ferrari in my garage :|
We sped up the cycle of life and death, we gave Eric and Dylan a shortcut.
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a dead pedophile? Nothing.
What's the best part about a dead hooker? The second hour is free!
What did one aborted baby say to the other? Nothing. They're both dead.
Why can't orphans have sex?
They don't know who daddy is.
If you kill an emo, Is it an assist kill?
Life's a bitch, and then you die. I now see what they mean.
What does it say on Stephen Hawking's headstone?
R. I. P. Roll in Peace.
For sale: Wheelchair, one careful owner, no longer needed.
Could never understand why people would say Stephen Hawking is a dead man walking.
Any 8 year old: Sus!
Me: Jake, we're at a funeral!
Toaster + Bath = The ultimate bath bomb!
Grandma isn’t responding. Close app, wait, cancel.
Which do you choose?
If it’s called the “living room,” why did my grandma die there?
Do you know Stephen is dead? He doesn't have a stone. Do you know how to find him? A metal detector.