Death

Death jokes

Hamster

11 views ·

When I was a kid, my hamster died, so my mum bought a new identical one, hoping I wouldn't notice. It didn't matter anyway, since I beat that one to death, too.

Jesus

12 views ·

Did Jesus die a virgin?

Of course not, you idiot. He got nailed before he died!

Patient

The doctor gave his patient 1 day of life, so he shot him. Then the judge gave him 15 years, so there you go, problem solved.

Garden

14 views ·

SON: “Mommy, I found Daddy!”

MOM: “What did I tell you about digging in the garden?”

Alligator

1 view ·

People were scared of the alligator because it ate everyone, so they called for the water god Aquarius.

He said "Sea ya later, alligator!" and he drowned.

Emo

16 views ·

An orphan, an emo, and an apple are on a tree. The apples get picked unlike the orphan, while the emo kid is already dead from hanging.

Bucket

2 views ·

I still remember the last thing Gaster said before he kicked the bucket, it was, "Hey, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?" (Sans)

Orphan

4 views ·

What's the difference between an orphan and a corpse?

One of them has someone to mourn them.

Baby

11 views ·

What's the difference between a hundred decapitated babies and a Ferrari?

I don't have a Ferrari in my garage :|