Death jokes
Kobe would still be alive if he would have gone to jail for raping that girl.
Where did little Lucy go during the bombing?
Everywhere.
When I died, my friend said he'd cover me.
I’m rather relaxed about death.
From quite an early age, I’ve regarded it as part of the deal, the unwritten guarantee that comes with your birth certificate.
Why did Stephen Hawking die? Because he got bummed too hard in the shower.
Why did Stephen Hawking die? Because he's slightly ginger.
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
Why can't Juice Wrld play Black Ops II?
Because he can't handle 6 perks.
What do Phillip Adam and Kurt Cobain have in common?
They both used their brains to paint the ceiling.
What is the difference between Betty White and Paul Walker?
Betty didn’t reach 100 before she died.
Where did Lucy go after the bombing?
Everywhere.
I asked my mother about her mom.
She said she was in a better place. After that, I asked her where that place is. She didn't know, so I sent her to a better place.
So you know those people that commit suicide by hanging themselves? I guess they lost Hangman.
Did you hear about the midget who was beaten to death playing volleyball at a nudist colony?
I'll kill a bitch like the policeman did to that white woman. He chopped her up and put her in the woods, the suck fuck.
If someone burns to death, do they get a discount at the crematorium?
Doctor: “You’ll be at peace soon.”
Man: “Am I dying?”
Doctor: “No, your wife is.”
I’ll never forget my dad’s last words. “Erase my search history, son.”
Today, me and my best friend went to the Grand Canyon. He was taking up all the space by the edge, and I told him to back up. R.I.P. to him.
What will make a depressed teenager happy?
A cliff.