"911, I just crashed my car. I think it's burning. I can't see. It hurts to breathe."
Death Jokes
"FUCK IT HURTS SO BAD PLEASE SEND AN AMBULANCE I CAN'T BREATHE (I am Paul Walker btw)"
*Coughs roughly* Oh my God, it hurts so much. I can't see. It burns! Help!!! Help!!! Help!!! Help!!! *Weakly*
Me: Hey, do you want to see my grandma?
Friend: Yeah, sure.
Me: *pulls out gun*
When I get suicidal, everyone worries. I don't know why because that is when I'm the happiest, thinking about death.
One night, a father heard his daughter saying good night.
"Good night, Mom."
"Good night, Dad."
"Good night, Mamah."
"Good bye, Papa."
The next day her papa died.
He heard her saying them a month later.
"Good night, Mom."
"Good night, Dad."
"Good bye, Mamah."
The next day her mamah died.
Well, her dad was scared for his life. He knew he was next. Well, his daughter said them again.
"Good night, Mom."
"Good bye, Dad."
The next day, the mail man dropped dead on their porch.
A guy says to his dog, "Where are you?" The dog was actually dead, bro.
"Go big or go home," that’s what some people say.
"Go loud and proud," that’s what other people say.
"Go out with a big, loud bang!" that’s what I say.
My Grandpa said, “Your generation relies too much on technology!” I replied, “We'll see about that.” Then I unplugged his life support.
"Stop telling these orphan jokes!! Maybe some people that read these are orphans!"
I'll stop telling orphan jokes when their parents come back.
What's the difference between an orphan and a flower?
The flowers actually get picked.
Random Kid: Aye man where was Kobe flying to?
Launch Site: Umm, he might have gone too close to here, sorry if he might have crashed...
Why do emo kids love dressing up on Halloween so much?
It's their last holiday for them, but at least they're still hanging on...
My friend told me to make more friends, so I joined a suicide cult.
I’ll be hanging with them for a while.
Why does a leaf fall faster than an emo kid? Because the emo hangs itself.
Why did the orphan kill itself?
Because he's depressed about no family.
Why did the orphan kill himself?
A leaf and an emo kid fall from a tree, who hits the ground first? The leaf, because the rope stopped the emo kid.
High school crush: Why do you always look so sad?
Me: My mom is dead, and my favorite grandma, and my uncle killed both of them, and now he's in jail.
High school crush: Shit. Sorry about that.
Me: And my crush hasn't asked me out.
High school crush: Who is it?
Me: You.
Him: Goodbye (as he runs away and never comes back)
Me: Fuck that.
Why did the orphan fall out of a tree?
They thought their parents would catch them.
