Dead jokes
What do you call a dead baby?
Spawn killed.
What do you call a dead polar bear?
Anything, they can't hear you!
Everyone becomes happy when they complete the last stage of the game.
But the cancer patients aren't.
What is the day parents stopped fearing for their little boys? June 25, dead pedo day.
I'm back and wearing dead whites who are killing whites from Eastern Europe on me. Shout out my boy russia and Ukraine, they all are evil just like USA and China and the rest of the west!
What's worse than finding one dead baby in a bin? Finding one dead baby in five bins.
Went to my friend's house, fucked his sister.
I had a fun funeral / birthday.
What do you call skeletons having sex?
When the relationship is dead, but you're still fucking.
Hey Siri, what’s in my bank account?
You stupid shit, piece of elephant crap, you’re so ugly that when you were born, your nickname was bastard! You’re so ugly, that your crush fainted in front of you and was proclaimed dead! You’re so ugly that-
(Destroys phone cutely)
What does Jeffrey Dahmer and Travis Scott have in common?
Eight dead people.
When your husband can’t afford a punching bag, he uses his wife.
Teacher: What do you want when you grow up?
That depressed kid in class: Dead.
What does the dead man say to the other? He says, "Your daughter is pretty."
The other man says, "How do you know?"
The other man says, "Because she is dead."
Dead people can’t cross the street because they're dead, ha ha!
Roses are red,
romance is dead,
every day I suffer from existential dread.
When you think you can’t fail anymore if you’re dead, then you fail at suiciding.
Did you know that ASL is a dead language?
Yeah, nobody speaks it.
Kid: I want to be like Batman.
Genie: I can make arrangements. The kid comes home, both of his parents are dead.
Genie: I told you.
Kid: .............................................
A guy stole my car last night. Before dialing 911 I thought, "Fuck it. Let him explain the dead bodies in the trunk."
Funny thing is, dead women can't say no...