This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
Heres a Song That Describes My Old Life-By-watersharky Productions- My buddies think I'm on the lake Boss thinks I've been sick for days And mama's probably on her way 'Cause I ain't picked up the phone I've been a million places But they're all up in my head Over-drinking, overthinking ever since you left I've been gone, I've been gone I've been sittin' on the couch watching TV all day long All day long, I've been tryin' to figure out how a good thing went wrong Faster than that freight train, farther than that airplane Sadder than a country song Headed down that highway, anywhere but my way Ever since you moved on, I've been gone Took a trip down memory lane Checked into hotel heartbreak Passed rock bottom on the way Without leaving my living room I've been a million places But they're all up in my head Over-drinking, overthinking ever since you left I've been gone, I've been gone I've been sittin' on the couch watching TV all day long All day long, I've been tryin' to figure out how a good thing went wrong Faster than that freight train, farther than that airplane Sadder than a country song Headed down that highway, anywhere but my way Ever since you moved on, I've been gone Yeah I've been gone All the clothes are on the floor All the mail's by the door All the whiskey bottles in my bed All the dishes in the sink All the gas is in the tank All the neighbors probably think I'm dead I've been gone, I've been gone I've been sittin' on the couch watching TV all day long All day long, I've been tryin' to figure out how a good thing went wrong Faster than that freight train, farther than that airplane Sadder than a country song Headed down that highway, anywhere but my way Ever since you moved on, I've been gone (ooh, ooh) I've been gone (ooh, ooh) Gone
So a women was paranoid so she had a dog to check to see if anything was wrong. She would always stick her hand under the bed and if the dog licked her hand then she was safe.One night just before bed she stuck her hand under the bed. She felt a lick so she went to bed. She in the middle of the night needed to go to the bathroom. So she walked into the bathroom and on the window it said: HUMANS CAN LICK TOO! Then she was murdered.
What do you call a dead woman in the back of your car? idk I just have a couple in the backseat
Abortion is a really touchy subject for me, on one hand there's dead babies! but on the other hand women get a choice
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
my girlfriends dog died so i got her a new one in replacement and she went off on me and yelled
"What am i supposed to do with 2 dead dogs in my house?!"
What do you call a snail without a shell? Dead
What’s the difference between peanut butter and a dead baby? Dogs only lick peanut butter off private parts.
Don’t cry when you attend my funeral, I was dead long ago so why cry now?
(Jokes for people with cancer) 1: I wish my cancer could kill me quicker so I don't have to do this class anymore. 2: I'm dying, finally. 3: I'm sorry, I can't go to your party because I'm expected to be dead by then. On a serious note, I might actually have cancer and I'm getting checks. I hope for the best :/.
Why does Aaron always look depressed? Because his grandmas dead
How many dead prostitutes does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
More than three because the basement is still dark!
pun enters the room and kills ten people.
pun in, ten dead
Suicide won't work, I'm already dead inside
How many dead kittens does it take to clog a pool filter? 7 when i tried
What do you do when a baby starts to cry. You use more lube
stephen hawkng isnt dead his update is just laggy because he is too far from the wifi box
Why doesn’t Helen Keller go to the optometrist?
Because she’s dead.
Some people think Bin Laden is dead, but some think hes alive.
He is the Al-Qaeda Elvis
