Dead Jokes

So I was at a class at school, and then boom explosion. lots of dead. I shoot at the peope too haha, goodbye class. Scary

I was reading a book one day, when I suddenly hear a sound. It was the grim reaper. I ignore it and continue reading my book. Suddenly I realized that I was one of the main characters, which, at the end, dies. I used to like fireworks. But I'm dead now. Fireworks like a charm, if you don't mind something a little ghostly. What lies beneath your nose and is being picked on? Your boogers.

God- make a grumpy old man president Angel-why g-cause I said so-name him trump a-okay G-make him not pay taxes a-okay... Fast forwrd to 2020 G- you know that grumpy old man a-yea... G-make him create a deadly virus named after a beer A- Krona G- exactly A- why do you hate humans so much G- because I can.

Paralyzed Man: * gets up * I’m out of here

Blind Man : Did that paralyzed man just get up

Deaf Man : did that Blind Man see that paralyzed man get up

Mute Man: did that deaf man just hear the blind man see the paralyzed man get up

Dead Man: did that mute man just say did that deaf man just hear the blind man see the paralyzed man get up

“Normal” Man: Did that dead man hear the mute man say didt that deaf man hear the blind man see the paralyzed man get up

Doctor: * calls 911*

911 service: 911 what’s your emergency

Doctor: yes uh, a “normal” person just said taht did that dead man just hear a mute man say did that deaf man just hear the blind man see a paralyzed man get up

911 service: * hangs up*

1 like = 1 more child in my fryer 13 0 1

t thelittletimmy6 days ago 1 like = 1 more child in my blender 82 5 11

a andrewgrayson5 days ago Jack and Jill went up the hill so Jack could lick Jills candy But Jack got a shock and a mouth full of cock because Jills real name is Randy. 27 1 3

M MedievalJoker22 hours ago in America Did you know that Americans fall out of both sides of the bed?!? 4 0 0

h heeeieo3sxedcv bnm10 hours ago When you call the middle eastern suicide hotline they ask you if you can fly a plane. 3 0 2

The Legend1 day ago Do trees shit?

Well, how else would we get #2 pencils? 5 0 0

Staniel13 hours ago A man saw a lady with big breasts. He asked, "Excuse me, can I bite your breasts for $1000?" She agrees, so they go to a secluded corner. She opens her blouse and the man puts his face in her breasts for 10 minutes." Eventually the lady asks, "Aren't you gonna bite them?" He replies, "No, it's too expensive." 3 0 2

Staniel14 hours ago Why did the sperm cross the road ———— because I put on the wrong sock today 3 0 0

TheForeverVirgin5 days ago 1 like=1 more orphan I dropkick 28 2 5

Anonymous1 day ago Why is September 11th the best birthday ever? No one forgets it :) 4 0 0

Anonymous7 hours ago in Orphan what makes an orphan jump? A Bridge 2 0 1

G Goofy ah11 hours ago I. Have no dad no milk and no mom so that means no tits like if u can relate 2 0 1

A Alastor Already From Hell14 hours ago What’s the difference between Hitler and Steven Hawking?

Nothing, their both dead, one painted the walls and the other commuted suicide by pressing ALT + F4 2 0 0

C COLINGAMING2000915 hours ago A funny joke

knock knock "Whose there" who "who who" Ha who who you sound like an owl "fuck you" 3 1 1

Sandwichtheif16 hours ago Why can’t orphans play baseball?

He can’t find home 2 0 0

Cal3y3 days ago 1 like= 1 more child in my basement 9 2 0

Anonymous5 days ago in Orphan What's an orphan's favorite Roblox game? Adopt me. 15 1 1

e easports3 days ago 1 like= 1 kids in the bed with me 8 2 3

Z Za_gotjokesss4 days ago My depressed friend said he wanted to jump off of a bridge but he didn’t wanna commit suicide. I told him if yhu jump and yell parkour, it’ll just be a failed stunt 7 0 0

G Goofy ah2 days ago +1 like=1 kid in my basment +1 comment =1 kid in my microwave +1 share =1 kid in my blender 3 0 14

1 2 3 4 5

Husband and wife are crossing the street, the husband is explaining to the wife why you should always look both ways before crossing the street.

Man: So you see Dolly? You should always look both ways before crossing the street.

Man turns and looks to wife, but she is not there!

Man: Dolly? Dolly!

Man looks around and sees Dolly laying dead on the street

Man: Dolly!

I am a God Na, na, na, na, na, na Yeah She's got makeup by the mirror in her bedroom Thigh-high fishnets and some black boots Nose pierced with the cigarette perfume Half dead, but she still looks so cute She is a monster in disguise And she knows all the words to the trap songs Takes pic's with a cherry-red lipstick Says she only dates guys with a big..., mmm

BRAKING NEWS!

LITTLE JOHNNYS DEAD!!!

Once there were three Indians. Two were smart and one was... not so smart. One day, the first smart Indian went out hunting. He came back with a dead deer. The not so smart Indian asks "How'd you do it?" The smart one replies, "I followed the deer tracks, shot the deer, and brought it home." The next day, the next smart Indian goes out. He comes back with a dead bear. The not so smart Indian asks once again "How'd you do it?" The smart one replies, "I followed the bear tracks, shot the bear, and brought it home." Finally, it's now the not so smart Indian's turn to go hunt. Multiple hours had passed since he left. The smart Indians go out to search for him. They finally find him, bloodied and on the verge of dying. The smart Indians exclaimed "WHAT HAPPENED!" The not so smart Indian replies, "Well I... I followed the train tracks, an... and shot th- the train... bu- but it kept going..."