Dead jokes
Dead.
What has two legs, two arms, one dead and covered in red?
My ex-wife.
Why is rape worse than death?
Because dead people get way more attention.
Murder: Wanna play a game?
Me: Ok (pulls out Xbox controller)
I have a saying. Whenever you find a sink, there's probably a dead baby inside it...
It was raining sadly all day. My wife, my two daughters, and me were stuck in the house when wife’s mom and dad just died.
Wife: 😭😭😭I wish this never happened.
Mia, our first daughter: Mommy, it’s ok. I love whenever I see you🥰🥰
Abby, our second daughter: I love you all. Only if you guys die I won’t, but I love you when you're alive 😉😏
Me, husband: What kind of nonsense was that? You love us when we’re alive, but you don’t love us when we’re dead🤥😥😓
Everyone except Abby: Abby, this is serious. Mommy’s mother and father died. Mia says: Yes, your mom is sadly down right now, you made her more sad😡🤬. Dad says: *sniffs* Abby, I had made a discussion. I will take you to an orphanage. I am sorry 😣 when I am better and happy and I forgot what you said then we’ll get you back. Mom says:
This was not a joke. I just did this for Love 💕
What's the difference between your job and a dead prostitute?
Your job still sucks!
What's the difference between a Corvette and a pile of dead babies?
I don't have a Corvette in my garage.
If Red gets voted out, what happened?
Red is not voted out, Red is a hacker, so he kills Blue. OK, so someone found Blue's body. Red said, "Where?"
Lime, Green, and Purple said, "How is Red not dead?"
Red: "I am a hacker, you noobs!"
Lime, Green, and Purple run.
Red killed them all. Red is the win, but he is not the win.
Black killed Red. Black is the win.
LOL
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Stranger.
Stranger who?
Stranger, why are you in my house masticating my apparent dead wife?
Killing someone is better than killing yourself.
Why do dead babies cry? Just kidding, they are dead.
How do you know your baby is dead?
It stopped screaming after not feeding the bastard for a month.
Why do orphans not have parents?
Answer: Their parents are yeet dead dead.
What do you call a person whose heart stopped?
Dead.
What's terrible? Three dead babies nailed to one tree.
What's worse than that? One dead baby nailed to three trees.
What does Michael Jackson have in common with Kmart?
They're both dead...
I can't sleep, that's because you're dead.
What is scarier than a pile of dead babies?
The bottom one ate its way out!
What's the difference between a dead hooker and a watermelon?
The watermelon didn't scream when I sliced it.