Dead

Dead Jokes

What's the difference between an apple and a dead baby?

I don't jizz on an apple before eating it.

1

So I told an orphan to slap themselves until they are wanted. I came back the next day to see them slapping themselves. Then I stopped them and told them to punch themselves.

The next day I saw a dead orphan.

What do emo boys and emo girls have in common? They both wanna die and cut so they can die faster, but they are already dead, already dead to me!

When you're at a funeral and you laugh at the body... everyone stares, and one person said, "Isn't that your mom...?"

So Kobe Bryant walked into a bar, just kidding, he's dead and his fame went spiraling out of control.

0

What do you get when you throw a pile of dead babies into a fryer?

Kentucky Fried Children!

What's it called when you eat those same babies?

Finger Lickin' Good!

What's the difference between Jesus and a dead, naked baby?

I don't worship Jesus.

4

I am going to be a ghost for Halloween. I actually want to be a ghost every day, because at least I'd be dead.